Now that Kresge Library is open 24 hours on weekdays, I decided I should embrace the college atmosphere and live in the library for an entire day. No breaks, just pure Hell.2:49 PM. It has begun. Editor-in-Chief...
10. Michele Bachmann shows up with Sarah Palin hair.9. Herman Cain brings pizza to his starving college students.8. Rick Perry convinces the Board of Trustees to overturn the campus gun ban.7. Candidates...
I can’t believe what I’m seeing these past two weeks. My favorite sports team to berate and hate is making my leisurely activities very difficult, and I don’t know how I can function without absolute...
Just recently I celebrated a birthday, and besides the normal melancholy ghost that follows me each year my hairline recedes, it got me wondering, what’s the point of celebrating?Birthdays are supposedly...
Come on, Irene. I swear what I mean. In this moment, you mean everything.I can't help but hum this happy tune each time I've turned on the TV to hear about the latest natural disaster, named aptly after...
Hello, freshmen and returning students to Oakland University! Did you miss me over your summer vacation? Probably not since most of you do not know who I am. Those who are familiar with me usually drink...
The American judicial system has reached a new low, and we can thank the media for fueling that.On July 5, 25-year-old Casey Anthony, indicted on charges of first-degree murder of her 3-year-old daughter,...
Unless your name has an uncanny rhyme to yo momma been squattin', you haven't been hiding for nearly a decade and have had regular access to internet, television, and other modern commodities.I am going...
Finally! The cosmos could not have aligned at a better moment. Being a humor 'writer', I am so excited I can douse this page with genital jokes and it fits in perfectly with the times. After all, bathroom...
Summer is back again, Grizzlies, and I couldn't be more ecstatic!Warm days and cool nights — the perfect summer for me to spend inside the Rochester Emagine theater getting plastered on $9 Long Island...
An unfortunate scourge has sprung its roots and reared its indifferent head on our sleepy Rochester campus.It strikes its victims not physically, like most afflictions, but emotionally, rendering them...
Every morning, I get up at 6 o'clock, scratch myself and go upstairs to watch the news and eat my cereal.My roommates — who are all huge critics of athletes, yet never seem to do anything remotely athletic...
