People of Earth,

I’m with Coco! Just say no to “Big Jaw” Leno.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about the ongoing crisis in late night programming over at the National Broadcasting Company.

But, just in case you don’t own a TV, radio, computer, newspaper, or simply have no idea what I’m talking about, let me bring you up to speed.

A long, long time ago (roughly seven months ago) in a galaxy (CEO’s office) far, far away, a deal that had been made back in 2004 went into effect. NBC gave Conan O’Brien the chance to host The Tonight Show, NBC’s long running and usually No. 1 rated late night TV program.

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In order to make room for Conan, NBC pushed aside the previous host of The Tonight Show, Jay Leno.

Three months later, in exchange for giving up Tonight, Leno would be given his own prime-time 10 p.m. talk show. If this doesn’t make sense to you, join the club.

The original deal was made in order to keep both stars at the peacock network and was expected to attract younger viewers to The Tonight Show while keeping Jay’s audience at 10 p.m.

Jay’s audience being, of course, old people who wouldn’t know funny if it bit them in the ass.

In that seven months, here’s what’s transpired: both stars have had problems building an audience, which has caused local NBC affiliates to have lower ratings for their 11 p.m. local newscasts. Affiliates have been screaming at NBC to do something about the low ratings.

The network blames Conan, Conan blames Leno, and  Leno retreats into his garage to play with his cars and smiles like a rich, oblivious child.

To be fair, it takes awhile to build an audience.

When Leno first took over for the original king of late night Johnny Carson in 1992, his ratings were in the crapper for the first 18 months. Leno was consistently beat by David Letterman, who had jumped ship from NBC to CBS to begin hosting The Late Show at 11:35 p.m. The ratings beating continued until Leno had actor Hugh Grant on to discuss being arrested for picking up prostitutes.

Leno began beating Letterman in the ratings. Oh, the magic of prostitutes.

Conan, during all this, had to swim his ratings out of the toilet when he took over Letterman’s show when Letterman moved to CBS. Conan’s ratings were so bad that NBC renewed his contract on a week to week basis while they looked for a replacement. Letterman showed support for Conan by sending his standby audience over to fill seats in Conan’s studio. Conan had to keep his job by amusing another man’s leftover audience.

Over time, both Conan and Leno were able to build a following, but it didn’t happen overnight. Eventually NBC had a stable and ratings-winning late night duo.

So what’s NBC’s solution to the current debacle? Restore The Jay Leno Show at 11:35 p.m. slot, pushing Conan’s Tonight Show back to 12:05 a.m., pushing Late Night with Jimmy Fallon back to 1:05 a.m., and pushing Last Call with Carson Daily (Yes, somehow he still has a show) back to 2:05 a.m.

The decision by NBC has everyone working in late night up in arms. Leno jokes about being canceled, Conan is visibly angry on-air and takes shots at NBC and Leno, and over on CBS, Letterman relives his own battle with NBC and Leno in 1992 taking shots at NBC and Leno.

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel went as far as coming out dressed as Leno and doing his ABC late night show impersonating Leno for the entire show. Kimmel also appeared on Leno’s program and took shots at him during his segment, joking about leaving Conan alone.

Leno made the mistake of asking Kimmel what the best prank he ever pulled was.

“I told a guy that ‘five years from now, I’m going to give you my show.’ And then when the five years came, I gave it to him. And then I took it back almost instantly. I think he works at Fox or something now,” responded Kimmel.

Conan released a statement last week addressed to “People of Earth” with his thoughts on the matter.

He explains that he refuses to do a 12:05 a.m. show for NBC saying he felt the move would be the destruction of The Tonight Show’s 60 year franchise.

He also apologized for his hair, saying “It’s always been that way.”

I’m concerned for the future of my beloved Coco.

Rumors say Conan is currently pursing an option to move to another network, most specifically, FOX. The problem with that is, the last time FOX had a late night show, they chose Chevy Chase to be its late night frontman.

The show lasted for five painfully unfunny weeks.

Conan is great, but when I think of late night TV, I don’t think about FOX. If Conan goes to FOX, if anything, it should be in his old position as one of the head writers on The Simpsons. The show hasn’t been as funny since he left for the talk show.

If the FOX offer isn’t an option, stranger offers have come in. Conan says he received an actual offer to star in an adult film. The script says that in his big love making scene he’s replaced by Jay Leno at the last moment.

Conan has also gone as far as saying on-air that he’s selling his “barely used” late night TV set on Craigslist for the best offer he can get, or Coldplay tickets.

I sent in an offer to pay $1 for the set and the rights for Conan to host his own 11:35 p.m. show on WXOU (without pay of course). We’ll see what happens. I’m pretty hopeful about this.

Two things are abundantly clear. One, everyone hates working at NBC, and two, everyone hates Jay Leno.

The Internet is completely up in arms regarding the NBC’s move. A simple Facebook and Twitter search turns up an abundance of people who claim to be on “Team Conan” or fans saying “I’m With Coco,” one of the nicknames given to Conan during his first week of hosting The Tonight Show.

It’s very hard to find a Leno fan anywhere on Facebook or Twitter. My guess is that they are old enough to think the Internet is an evil spirit. One fan site claims 80 percent of the Internet is on Team Conan. I believe it.

It’s no secret, I’m a Conan fan. The self-decapitation by already struggling NBC is stupid. For the past two years I’ve been actively involved in managing the day-to-day operations at WXOU. While I haven’t had to deal with issues the size that NBC has, I’ve certainly had my fair share of problems to deal with.

As a college radio programmer it’s my opinion that NBC should leave Conan alone and let Jay walk (no pun intended).

Jay just isn’t funny to me. He spends way too much time getting everyone to like him. Leno has an aging viewer demographic while Conan has the younger viewers. I want the audience that’s going to be around for 30 years, and not the audience who can’t hear the unfunny over their breathing machines. It’s my opinion that when Leno goes back to 11:35 p.m. the audience will not return with him. History has shown once an audience is gone, it rarely returns. What’s the network going to do when Leno fails again?

Well, aside from giving me and Mouthing Off Editor Dan Simons our own hour long talk show. Just an idea.

To summarize, NBC needs to give Conan more time to develop. Just like Leno had 18 months, Conan should have the same. Seven months is not enough time. You need at least a year. If NBC executives have a problem letting Leno go, hire me! I have no problem firing a comedian who isn’t funny. In this business you’ve got to know when to get the hell off the stage and when it’s time to cut your loses. For Leno, the show is over.