Cowboys, aliens and Indians may have defeated aliens, but they didn’t win me over

By Nichole Seguin

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Earlier this week, I ventured out to see the highly anticipated summer blockbuster, Cowboys & Aliens. It was not winning, as Charlie Sheen would put it.

I’ll admit, I didn’t have high aspirations for the movie to begin with, but I wasn’t expecting it to be as terrible as it was.

Cowboys & Aliens? C’mon, Jon Favreau. Are you running out of ideas? I mean, that’s as bad as throwing sparkling vampires and werewolves together, expecting to make more money than the entire Star Wars saga.

And then, you give the movie no concrete plot. The aliens are on Earth to take gold, but they’re not sure what they need it for? Why not? Why bother then? Why waste the time and energy, not to mention the resources? You must really be losing it.

The movie starts with James Bond waking up in the middle of a field with no idea how he got there. With a stomach injury and a fancy new bracelet, he makes his way to a vastly dictated city that wants nothing to do with him. After getting the son of the beef provider sent to jail, he soon joins him by getting arrested himself.

Some spit and a few hits later, they’re locked in a horse-drawn carriage, waiting for Indiana Jones to show up and save the day. He comes, but brings a myriad of angry aliens with him. Once everyone important is abducted, they decide they need to fight.

The movie didn’t have much potential to begin with, especially considering its “ambiguous” title, so I’m not sure what the hype is all about, but spare yourselves this summer and see something else. Might I suggest Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2? I hear they know how to properly turn a book into a movie. Just ask Rowling and her piles of cash.