The Oakland Post

Abandon ship or abandon all hope

By Brian Figurski

January 24, 2012

Man overboard! It’s all the rage these days, like dubstep or planking. It’s so booming that even the captain of the ship is jumping for joy, or for his own greedy safety.Last week, the cruise liner Costa Concordia toppled...

VIDEO: Can I get a redo on that resolution?

By Brian Figurski

January 11, 2012

I haven’t been myself this year as most of my closest friends can attest. At this time of year, there’s one core reason for my mis-misbehavior.Apologies to everyone who was adversely affected by my physical and mental abs...

Mouthing Off: Facebook Timeline

By Justin Colman

January 10, 2012

Stop me if you’ve read this before: “OMG I hate the new Facebook, I want the old one back!” Better yet, I’ll just stop there and let you guess what this is going to be about, not that you need any more clues or anythin...

GOP ready to rumble

By Raymond Andre

January 3, 2012

Forget the Iowa Caucus, I would like to see the Republican contenders in a grudge match, in a steel cage set ablaze — the fire, of course, would be symbolic, representing the flames of passion of the Republican spirit.It is my o...

‘I really need to get out more’

By Jordan Reed

January 3, 2012

One of my friends asked me, “Hey man! When are you going to write another thrilling story about your pathetic life?”At least someone cares a little about me.So, after that meeting with my one and only fan, I worked up the...

Ho, Ho, Hold on there: The omnipotent Santa Claus

By Brian Figurski

December 13, 2011

It’s been so long that my childhood is barely a blip in my brain, but I’d like to think I was a rather intelligent wunderkind, aside from the drywall shattering temper tantrums.Are children these days really this oblivious to...

Countdown to the let down

By Brian Figurski

November 30, 2011

The semester is over, friends. It’s been a great ride that I’ve loved sharing with all of you.Next year, something similar will be said about life itself.End of days is coming, people. It’s been predicted centuries ago by ...

Holidays drain empty pocketbooks

By Brian Figurski

November 16, 2011

Merry Christmas, everybody!What? It’s a little early for Christmas, you say? I thought the same, until I noticed the astonishing number of Christmas lights already up around town, and the multiple Detroit radio stations emitt...

A case for class cancellation

By Postie Editors

November 9, 2011

Depending on who you talk to, classes may or may not be cancelled for the debate on Wednesday.The latest word on the street, according to Glenn MacIntosh, dean and assistant vice president of student affairs, is that classes are no...

Addiction starts at $60 per disc

By Brian Figurski

November 2, 2011

On Nov. 8, World War 3 begins.No, not the literal destruction of our physical planet. This day marks the release of the third installment of the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series, the eighth game with the COD namesake and the umptee...

Halloween horrors on a decline

By Brian Figurski

October 26, 2011

Forget ghosts, zombies, loose wild animals or an army of completely incompetent GOP candidates - what’s real scary this fall is how horrible Halloween has gotten.Kids don’t celebrate the holiday anymore, not like how we used to ...

Oakland University's independent student newspaper
Mouthing Off