By Alex cherup

color:black;letter-spacing:-.3pt;mso-font-width:

93%”>Mouthing

color:black;letter-spacing:-.25pt;mso-font-width:93%”>It was a tit for a tat last month for a Texas woman

The tat: Ms. Hamlin was allowed to board an airplane

heading to Dallas, Texas.

The tit: Mandi’s nipple ring was removed with the

help of airport security and a toolbox.

Yes, in its most recent circus act, Homeland Security

took action against a woman at the Lubbock Texas, airport, who was searched and

harassed because of her nipple ring.

After a metal detector “struck gold” in the woman and

found the pesky piercings, airport security employees demanded the rings be

taken out.

One ring was removed with a pair of pliers after she

could not remove it by hand.

How the pliers made it past airport security is

another issue worth pursuing.

Hamlin is taking legal action.

And it is about time another nipple-related story

made the news — it has been a couple of years since the “wardrobe malfunction,”

and we were certainly overdue.

This, however, is a different type of malfunction —

an intelligence malfunction.

According to an AP article, the argument put forth by

the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) was that it “is aware of

terrorists’ interest in hiding dangerous objects in sensitive areas of the

body.”

Yes, apparently “Boob Bombs” are the latest

concoction from those looking to strike America.

Since when do Double D’s and terrorists fit together?

It is a failure of intelligence to offer so much concern to this folly.

We’ve established that there are no WMDs in Iraq, so

apparently a rack is the next logical place to snoop around.                       

Hamlin claims that the act “surprised, humiliated,

and embarrassed” her and that there were “snickers” from TSA employees as she

was forced to remove the ring.

 Apparently

planes aren’t the only thing on the rise at the airport.

But this is not the first of ludicrous requirements

to board an airplane.

For those who didn’t know, too much toothpaste is a

threat to the civilized world.

Either that, or the TSA does not enjoy fresh breath.

After the post-9/11 security increase, the laundry

list of threats to airports grew.

For instance, all liquids in a container over a

certain size are a hazard to the well-being of the nation.

A bottle of perfume may endanger the flight. Water

brought from outside the terminal is also breaking the law.

I guess the rationale is that terrorists must drink

as well. Or perhaps suicide drowning is a possible act of terror.

I recently got caught in a downpour on my way to the

airport. I was afraid I’d miss my flight — there were almost three ounces

dripping off me. My shoes retain water.

Every human body is 75 percent water. I’m sure

Homeland Security will eventually only allow 25 percent of your body to board a

plane. Whatever the case, I dehydrate myself before boarding a plane to play it

safe.

Has Homeland Security gotten so out of touch with

reality that a nipple-ringed, sweet-smelling dental hygienist is considered a

legitimate enemy to the “most powerful nation in the world?”

I recently transported a glass plate (it was a gift)

in my carry-on luggage, and had the privilege of locating myself behind a woman

ignorant of the harm toiletries can bring upon the nation.

Her toothpaste, make-up, perfume, lotion and contact

solution were being “confiscated.” I think there was a TSA drag party planned

for later on that evening. It was Vegas, after all.

The poor woman was being sternly lectured, as angry

glares were thrown her way. Next, my bag went through, and no questions were

even asked about the plate, which could easily be broken into two dangerous

knives.

Obviously it was not as dangerous as some hand cream.

Everybody knows terrorists love Bath and Body Works.

As an entity, Homeland Security is neautic, absurd

and illogical.

It is a group thinks a nipple piercing is an ally to

terrorists. And that is who we have “protecting” us.

Homeland Security needs psychological help. It really

should see someone.

At least they made it to second base.