By Masudur Rahman

Senior Reporter

Photo credit: Dustin Alexander

DISCLAIMER: Sadomasochists’ American Coalition is a fictional organization. This column is not intended to insult anyone who practices sadomasochism.

Hello, my fellow Americans. This is an open letter to you from the Sadomasochists’ American Coalition (SMAC).

As the president of SMAC, I am bringing this message to you on behalf of the sadomasochists of the world because we do not want to be ignored any longer.

Every election year in the past we stayed silent because we feared that throwing our support behind someone would end up harming our champion rather than help because of the prejudices that a lot of people have against us.

But we think that this year is the year that will change all that. This year, our voice will be heard, and the rightful candidate will be elected President of the United States.

I am hereby excited to announce that SMAC has decided to declare its endorsement of Barack Obama.

We support Obama because we believe he is more sympathetic toward people with a diverse sex life.

We support Obama because we can no longer tolerate the openly intolerant religious-fundamentalists in Washington who want to keep us in the dark ages of oppression and inequality.

We can no longer stand by and watch as politicians in the highest seats of power look down at some people and deny them rights simply because their preferred sexual activities include getting their ass smacked.

Sure, none of these politicians directly came out and said they discriminate against people or deny people rights based on how they get it on, but we all know how politicians think.

If they had their way, Americans would be allowed under law to have sex at most once a week, in the missionary position, under covers in our bedrooms, with the lights turned off.

No thank you.

An eternity of getting our livers pecked out by an eagle, having them regrown, and pecked out again and again, all while being forced to listen to Jennifer Lopez, would be preferable to having such a boring sex life.

We say: “Give us sexual liberty, or give us death!”

Sure, Obama has not exactly spoken out in support of us sadomasochists during his campaign, but we know that he supports us in his heart.

Obama’s official position on amending the U.S. constitution to allow gay marriages is the same as McCain’s — neither support it. Likewise, both candidates’ visible support of

sadomasochists is the same: nonexistent.

Sexual activity is just one of those things you can’t talk about in a presidential campaign, just like you can’t support gay marriage if you want to win.

But we know that in his heart, Obama supports our sexual freedom, even if he can’t come out and say it openly.

We get it. But with Obama in the White House, we’ll at least have someone who’s sympathetic to our cause.

Are masochists any less human because they like being smacked around a bit during sex?

Are sadists any less human because they like to smack around a consensual partner during intercourse?

Are we any less human because we like to feel pain and pleasure simultaneously during coitus?

Have we not eyes to see intolerance with, eyes to see discrimination with, minds and hearts to feel pleasure and pain with? If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you strike us, do we not

feel hurt?

Yes, some of us like to be struck. But this doesn’t mean that we are to be looked down upon.

We are aware that SMAC’s endorsement of Obama has the potential to hurt his likelihood to be elected president. Some people who were considering voting for Obama might now not vote for him, deterred by our endorsement.

It’s a bit similar to what happens when certain Christian extremists expressed their support for Obama: a few other people stopped supporting him because of their dislike of those certain Christian individuals. Similar incidents happened to McCain, too.

This usually makes some minority groups hide their support of a candidate because they fear that their support will hurt the candidate rather than help the candidate.

But we feel that this year is the year that this all changes. We have hope that these political games will not hijack the elections, and that despite it all, the next American president will be the right one.

Of course, no candidate is perfect, and Obama is no exception. We sadomasochists have invited both of the presidential candidates to many of our S&M club events and appear to have been shunned and ignored by the McCain campaign, which was no surprise. But we also appear to have been shunned and ignored (on the surface, anyway) by the Obama campaign too, which admittedly stung a little.

It’s a striking parallel to how Obama has attended events at Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, but not Muslim mosques. (Of course, McCain hasn’t visited a mosque during his campaign either, but the expectations really weren’t too high for him.)

It’s a tricky subject, to be sure, because even despite the squashing of the rumor that Obama is secretly a Muslim, many still claim that he is Muslim and will not vote for him because of this. By not appearing in mosques, Obama risks alienating some of the minority Muslim voting population. But at the same time, he also gains a little by not alienating some of the more thoughtless population who would use the visit as clinching proof of the untruthful rumors.

So we get it. Obama can’t risk coming to our S&M clubs because he might lose some voters who don’t like us sadomasochists. We understand, and we forgive him. To us and Obama, it’s more important that he wins the election because we would rather have a president who at least supports us in his heart than one who does not.

So please, America, vote for Obama and elect him as the next president because he will bring America out of its swirling depths. He is the personification of change we can all believe in, whether or not we like to be gently caressed in the nude during copulation, or to be struck while wearing leather, chains and the occasional ball-mouthgag.