By Lindsey Wojcik And

Nick Degel

Editor in Chief and Managing Editor

Photo Credit: DUSTIN ALEXANDER/The Oakland Post

Senior Katie Wolf has had reason to view sex from a whole new perspective. Having ended a serious relationship just days ago, Wolf is beginning to reflect on how her approach to sex has changed.

She cites that relationship as a real breakthrough for her. “With [him] it wasn’t just about sex. It made me realize that there was a whole other level you can reach with another person when there’s an emotional bond,” she said.

Wolf is quick to point out that the experience lead her from a more “cavalier” approach to sex to one built around the emotions of a strong relationship.

“When you’re in love a certain barrier is broken and there’s a vulnerability that you’re willing to show the person that you love that you might not be able to show someone that you just really really like,” she said.

According to well-renowned internist and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky, humans are biologically designed to have an emotional reaction to sex.

“There’s a lot of functional MRI data that shows men and women respond profoundly differently biologically to sexual material in terms of what arouses them and their experiencing with sexual acts,” he said.

Pinsky touched on this and other topics during his lecture at Oakland University on Tuesday.

“When you look at the male responsiveness in the central nervous system in the brain, say to visual sexual material, what you find is a very powerful arousal … and then immediate drive response,” Pinsky said.

“If you show arousal sexual material to many females, most females, they will have arousal in the same region, no drive.”

Pinsky went on to say that for men “arousal around sex equals appetite and drive” and for women, “intimate conversation … activates drive.”

Senior Rob Grieser notices a pointed difference in the way that men and women approach sex.

“Between my girlfriend and I there is a gulf of difference in our approach [to sex]. I don’t see much of a difference in myself at all … it’s a lot more of a big deal for her,” he said.

Senior Demetrios Anastasiow also sees a difference between men and women especially as it pertains to bringing sex into the equation. “I generally think guys prefer to not go longer than a few weeks and girls prefer going longer, but that also depends on how attached and attracted the people are to each other.”

Regardless of the form of communication there’s no shortage of topics that need to be addressed when it comes to a healthy sex life. 

Testing. Attention, please

According to American Social Health Association, less than half of adults ages 18-44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.

“The CDC (Centers for Disease Control) recommends [to get tested] once a year. If you test positive they recommend that you come back in 90 days to get retested. Part of the problem is that if your back with the partner who has the infection and they don’t get treated you’re just going to get it back again,” said Lynda Byer, an RN with the Screening Project in Oakland County and the Michigan Department of Health. 

In the state of Michigan the two sexually transmitted infections of concern are Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.

According to the Michigan Department of Health, 40 percent of Chlamydia cases reported in 2007 were among 15-19 year olds and 33 percent were among 20-24 year olds. Thirty-three percent of Gonorrhea cases reported in 2007 were among 15-19 year olds and 28 percent were among 20-24 year olds.

Grieser said he gets tested and uses protection but that he has not been tested in quite awhile because he has been in a monogamous relationship for the last four and a half years.

“There really hasn’t been any need to,” he said. “As for my friends, I’ve got a couple buddies with kids so I would say that I probably err on the side of caution more so than they do.”

Having screened over 12,000 young adults and adolescents, Byer said that in the Screening Project the asymptomatic rate for males who do not know they have Chlamydia is 80 percent.

“There’s no risk profile that we’re going to know that someone has Chlamydia. Someone could come to us that has 25 partners and they’re negative, and the next has one partner and they’re positive,” Byer said.

In a nonscientific survey administered by The Oakland Post in the Nov. 12 issue, results show that 69.2 percent of sexually active males have not been tested for STIs.

This large percentage could be attributed to what Pinsky said is a different approach that men tend to have toward medical screenings. “It’s like trying to get a guy to ask for directions. It’s that exact impulse,” he said.

“Women are much more used to going to medical care systems. They’ve been going since they were 18 and getting their Pap smears,” he said. “Men do not have any sort of regular ritual so they haven’t done testing. Even if they did have a regular health maintenance, it’s hard to get a man to take care of medical issues.”

Though women in the survey were tested at a better percentage, just under half are still choosing not to get tested. The Graham Health Center on OU’s campus offers free and discrete STI screenings to students.

“Any student coming in, we’re asking [Graham Health Center] to offer this screening,” Byer said. “Even if [a student is coming] in for a headache, or for any other reason, we’re saying ‘go ahead and offer them this testing.'”

The state has also provided Graham with free medication to treat Chlamydia and Gonorrhea that can be administered to at no cost to students.

“There’s over 35 STDs now. It’s really scary out there and we’re concerned about the health of your generation,” Byer said.

Sexual Relations

Addressing college-aged women in his lecture, Pinsky said that they perceive  only three options for the relationships that make up their social lives: the hookup, “joined-at-the-hip” relationships and friends with benefits.

Considering the latter, sophomore Katy Gasta said that she has been in a friends with benefits type relationship. She said it began as a “hook up” until feelings became too obvious to ignore.

“I started kind of liking him but I didn’t lead on to it at all because I didn’t want it to get weird,” she said. “Then he just stopped talking to me, in which I confronted him and he said ‘I didn’t want  you to get attached.’

“I basically told him that just because we are having sex doesn’t mean I want to be your girlfriend. Things just got weird after that.”

Pinsky is leery of these kinds of casual sex relationships as they run contrary to our human nature.

“[They] look great on paper. Things that look great on paper do not necessarily resonate in human experience,” he said. “Inevitably we are human beings and inevitably someone develops an attachment. Men and women equally, somebody gets hurt.”

Anastasiow said that as he gets older his opinions on casual sex relationships have changed.

“When I was young I didn’t want anything to do with a relationship. But over the years as I have gotten older and had a few casual relationships and long relationships; one-night stands are not as attractive anymore — and with rate of diseases nowadays, its a total turnoff,” he said.

“I’ve been in love twice and there’s nothing on this planet that compares to that.”

Senior Mea

gan Mentor can second that sentiment as she has been in a serious relationship for two years. She explained the different role sex plays in her relationship now compared to when it first started.

“When we were first together it was crazy, like we couldn’t keep our hands off each other,” she said. “I remember when we first met, how exciting everything was and how spontaneous it was. But our relationship now is more focused on being together and spending time together.

“[Sex] cemented the relationship, like we’re going to be together and not with anyone else. It was a stepping stone and we were commited to each other,” she said.

Mentor said that while sex is still a big part of their relationship, it’s not the only thing that matters to them. “We would rather get in bed and cuddle and a lot of the time we look more forward to that than having sex because we’re both tired.”

She explained that in the beginning of the relationship sex was an everyday occurance, whereas now it happens two to three times a week.

“Before [sex] was always what you looked forward to because it was new and exciting, but now it’s turned into something meaningful,” Mentor said.

It was this same kind of relationship that Wolf has seen come to a close. Though she admits to still being upset about the break up and “can’t see herself dating anyone for a while,” she takes heart in having experienced such an emotional connection.

“People have sex for a number of reasons. I think it’s important to have that connection and intimacy with somebody for sex to be truly meaningful, and it’s impossible to know that until you’ve been in that kind of a relationship.”

Wolf also said she finds little use for hindsight.  

“I think people are so overwhelmed with getting advice that the message does not send through at all. Eighteen-year-old Katie wouldn’t listen to 21-year-old Katie,” she said.