Oakland Post Top Ten: Real reasons for the tuition hike

There are really like twenty of these, but I only had the Top Ten graphic ready. So..

There are really like twenty of these, but I only had the Top Ten graphic ready. So..

10. Hiring extra security for tryouts of The Grizz. The identity of The Grizz  is a trade secret, like the formula for Coca-Cola.

9. Outfitting the Bear Bus with spinners, ground effects, and nitrous oxide.

8. Strengthening WXOU’s signal by 50 percent. College radio can now be heard clearly in the parking lot of Red Ox.

7. Constructing an invisible deer reflector shield. Deer are harmlessly repelled back into traffic.

6. Creating a new wing of the OUPD devoted entirely to giving out parking tickets.

5. Promoting OU’s football team: Undefeated since 1957!

4. Relocating Gary Russi’s bat cave. Currently in his “Dark Knight” phase, Russi must stay on the lam to keep his friends safe and his enemies guessing.

3. Jetsons-style moving walkway to Pawley Hall. Construction time: eight years.

2. A lengthy campaign to retrieve the bike share bike from Beer Lake. Three people were lost in the effort.

1. Creating a more extensive “You Can Afford This” campaign.