Media Convergence 2: The legend continues

By Rory McCarty

Everyone’s getting into the spirit of the season, as one of the most popular secular holidays of the year is nearly upon us. That’s right, Sweetest Day is fast approaching, and what better to get into the romance than to psychoanalyze your relationship?

Approximately one year ago, former Mouthing Off Editor Dan Simons set up then Campus Editor Kay Nguyen on a date with WXOU IT Director Steve Wiseman. His matchmaking then became the basis of a Mouthing Off article about the awkwardness of first dates.

Still together after all this time, it’s high time we celebrate Kay and Steve’s anniversary by interviewing the couple Newlywed Game-style.

To do so, I’ve scoured back issues of Seventeen magazine for compatibility quizzes to use as reference. I also learned that Justin Bieber is left-handed and loves hockey.

We’ll get a glimpse into the logical end of media integration and I’ll do my best to embarrass them publicly.

How long exactly have you been together, then?

STEVE: October 9 was our one year anniversary.

KAY: We’ve been together for 31 Mouthing Off Sections. What can I say? I work at the newspaper.

So, how does it feel to have the basis of your relationship literally be a joke?

KAY: It’s really funny. We’ve even been recognized by readers in the hallway before. I know how Demi and Ashton must feel now. Ha.

STEVE: When you put it like that it sounds horrible, but it’s kind of funny too.

What are your pet names for each other?

STEVE: I call her “Kay.” Or “babe.” Sometimes “love,” but only in tweets hoping she reads it with a British accent.

KAY: I call him “Pancake Butt” because there is one flat plane there.

What was your worst date? Keep in mind, you will be graded for accuracy.

KAY: Definitely our mortifying first date. You may have read about it.

STEVE: Her mom Facebook stalked me, saw I was older than her and called Kay home. Oh, and her ex was our server at the restaurant.

Do you still dress up for dates, or is it to the point where you just put on your barbeque stained T-shirt?

STEVE: Appearances are important, so I still try and keep it classy.

KAY: In a misguided attempt to dress up, I’ll wear a T-shirt and jeans … and heels.

So, when you finally met each other’s parents, was it terrifying or merely super awkward?

KAY: It was terrifying for me with both sets of parents, but I can be pretty irrational.

STEVE: Terrifyingly awkward.  It was only until recently that her mom thought I was a serial killer.

If someone came on to my significant other in a bar, or a Kohl’s or something, I would…

STEVE: Not really the jealous type, but if they cross the line I will crack skulls.

KAY: Raise an eyebrow and see what happened. A discount at Kohl’s could come out of it! I kid.

Do you celebrate mini-anniversaries, like your three month anniversary, or the anniversary of the first time you ate at an Arby’s together?

KAY: Our relationship is a failure, since we have not eaten Arby’s curly fries together yet. It’s a complete sham, I tell you.

STEVE: We just passed our first year, so I think we stop counting month to month.

Have you gone to a play or movie you didn’t want to in order to appease your partner?

STEVE: I love all movies.  Bad ones are good too.

KAY: Did you see “Cop Out?” I did make him sit through an Italian opera, though.

Did you guys carve a heart into an oak tree yet? It’s not official until you do, you know.

STEVE: I was going to do it on campus but those trees disappeared from the roundabout.

KAY: Nah, we carved it on the Facebook wall, though.

Quickly, name the other one’s favorite food, movie and season of “Battlestar Galactica.”

STEVE: Crème Brulee, “A Walk To Remember,” and she only knows Battlestar because my dog is named Boomer.

KAY: We both like food too much to pick one, Star Wars, and don’t know, but he did once want a “Battlestar Galactica” tattoo …

When you read a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book, is it okay to hold your thumb on the last page you were on in case a truck hits you in the story?


KAY: Chyeah.

Bad news, guys. You both think it’s okay to cheat. Knowing that, do you trust your partner with your darkest secret? Also, what is your darkest secret?

STEVE: I trust her with my darkest secrets 100 percent.  I watch chick flicks alone but don’t cry.

KAY: Or course. I trust him to know that I snore.

What’s the strangest place you’ve ever made whoopee?

STEVE: I plead the Fifth.

KAY: In the kitchen.

Can you tell me what “whoopee” is? Bob Eubanks gave me that line, and I was too embarrassed to ask.

STEVE: She is a host of that one show where all the women talk at the same time.

KAY: According to Wikipedia: “A whoopie pie (alternatively called a gob, black-and-white, bob, or “BFO” for Big Fat Oreo) is a baked good made of two round mound-shaped pieces of chocolate cake, sometimes pumpkin cake, with a sweet, creamy frosting sandwiched between them.” Am I right?

Oh. That makes sense. What are you going to name your babies?

KAY: Scooter and Rex. They’re working names.

STEVE: Or “The” because then it would be “The Wiseman.”

Can you read each other’s minds yet? Give it a try: What are they thinking right now?

KAY: “This is going to be a long day.”

STEVE: “Why aren’t the pages in?”

Do you floss?

KAY: Occasionally.

STEVE: Not as much as I should.

Gross, you guys. Does the age difference create problems when discussing the pop music of your childhood?

STEVE: I am a lover of all music except smooth Jazz.  Kenny G scares me.

KAY: There’s a lot of “I’ve haven’t heard of them,” but I try to get to know him better by listening to 104.3 WOMC, the oldies station. Did you know they consider ’80s music oldies now? That means he’s really “olddddddd.”

Let’s say hypothetically, your significant other was trampled by a rhinoceros during a visit to the zoo. Give them a touching eulogy.

STEVE: Kay was a driven, beautiful, and loving woman.  She made me want to be a better person in my career, life, and family.  I love her and she will always be my soul mate.

KAY: So I actually did hear about this guy who was nearly eaten by a hippo once, but I digress. He was truly a great man who touched my life and many others’ and will be sorely missed. We love you, Steve. Not much is changing, though, since you will still see the top of my head from way up above.

Aw. That makes water come out my eyes. Here’s wishing you both the best.