Sounds like the 15 minutes of fame are running out

By Brian Figurski

“I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here, I don’t belong here,” Radiohead – Creep

I could probably stop writing at this point and be perfectly content with getting my point across (thanks, epigraph!)

Other people could have done the exact same thing and suffered less harmful consequences instead of basking in the glory of infamy’s 15 minutes.

No names will be used specifically here, but feel free to reference The Oakland Post’s “Suspended student disputes disciplinary action” article and scroll through the sprawling 150-plus irate comments to find the target.

In case you weren’t aware, I am a male and have a penis, but somehow I know what type of behavior is appropriate for certain situations (most of the time.) I have a pretty good idea of when to keep my sexual yearnings silent.

Why there are people on this planet who don’t have that natural brain filter is beyond my comprehension.

My jokes are often overly descriptive, ooze with subtle seduction and are a genuine turn-off for all, but I know where to draw the line.

If you don’t give your sexual prowess a rest, you can start getting hot for jail time.

I’m all for the freedom of speech. I believe you should be able to write down whatever you please, so long as it’s not threatening the livelihood of anyone. The passages in question, while exceptionally creepy, did not explicitly threaten anyone.

This student was banned from campus for their chronic, unlawful activities of intimidation, causing awkward tension in students and staff. A diary entry brimming with lewd text doesn’t exactly help earn the trust of your surrounding females.

The student who penned the journal also happens to be married, and has been for 30 years. From what I’ve come to surmise on my years on Earth, you don’t want your significant other exposed to the thoughts in your brain in precise, vulgar details.

That’s when you start getting kitchen utensils thrown at you and start sleeping on the couch.

A student writes about his tent-pitching skills for his teacher, she takes utter offense for obvious reasons and this calamity ensues.

For someone to not be empathetic to another’s feelings shows a complete lack of morality and understanding. Not thinking with your head, or not the correct one for thought process, at least.

Many people have declined to use their real identities when commenting in fear that someone will come after them, but as a person who loudly boasts their opinion, to not let someone’s rebuttal share a similar platform would be hypocritical.

My name is Brian Figurski and I do believe you are a creep with a lack of filter. Investing in one would be wise.

Tick tick tick. Sounds like the 15 minutes are up.