Thank you for bullying: what we go through as kids gives us perspective for today

By Brian Figurski

There have been a lot of people coming out of the woodwork to protest against bullying lately, and it’s really making me want to pummel someone into oblivion.

Most recently, actress Jennifer Lawrence has come out, stating she moved schools in elementary years, as she was bullied. Well boo hoo, Katniss. Join the other 242 million Americans.

In a survey conducted by the North Carolina Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Center for the Prevention of School Violence (or as I call them for short, NC Depo of JJ & D PreC 4 the Pre-School-V,) 77 percent of students are bullied in some form.

I am a statistic. I am one of the 77 percent. I was tormented in my youth for a variety of reasons some of you have already come to know –- I was overweight, I wore glasses twice the size of my face, my third grade male teacher had a crush on me, and I had a borderline-sexual relationship with robots, for starters. Use your imagination and think of a play on words for “Figurski” – that was my nickname.

And I’m plenty thankful that I was belittled the amount I was.

Now, I’m not pro-bullying in any way. It’s more of an anti-anti-bullying. It’s a movement that doesn’t get enough support, double-anti bullying –- to protect the right to build self-confidence and character through personal triumph and overcoming all odds (or as I call it for short… never mind).

If I wasn’t defeated on a daily basis during my stint in the public school system, I don’t know where I’d be today. Maybe being coddled by Daddy, like the alpha male jocks on the playground.

Being bullied puts things into perspective as a youth and instills a good mindset on the politically correct way to conduct oneself in the world. You grow up and know not to call other people four-eyes or smash their Pokémon toy on the blacktop.

I’m not an advocate for physical bullying, no way. Keep your meat-wad hands to yourself. But I’m all for tossing a few insults around.

Look at that guy right there. He thought he was more metal than titanium, where in reality he was gelatinous and everyone was laughing at him, not with.

But don’t shed a single tear over my sob story! Bullying shaped me into a wiser person with a moral fiber that I choose to ignore time and again, a lot. It’s definitely in there, though, the fine line between the right and the wrong.

Kids are kids. Their minds aren’t fully there to make judgment calls. At a young age, everything’s instinctual. You can’t rely on any form of media to teach a good lesson, not even children’s programming.

I don’t know how many 20-something-year-olds watch kid TV recreationally, but I do believe those Boobah creatures instill that stalking and baby talk is acceptable. Those are the most frightening, multi-dimensional beings that have ever been created.

Parents and professionals need to be the main source of life skill instruction for America’s youth. It’s okay to teach a child to get back on his feet after they’ve been chopped down a little bit. It’s how you ground a sense of morality, with real life experience.

So I thank you, bullies of my youth. Without you, I would still be okay with Twix and Arctic Freeze dinners and copious amounts of Mega Man. Thank you for giving me barriers to hurdle over and teaching me that I can overcome

Thanks to you, I’m aware I’m not made of titanium – I’m strontium, you hate-mongers.