Satire: e-LIS rolls out immersive TV experience

The Department of e-Learning and Instructional Support (e-LIS) has teamed up with television networks everywhere to make Oakland University the first campus to provide its students the ability to experience our favorite shows as though we are actually living them. This comes as a new leg of its virtual reality research, and is now open to students with an OU ID.

With thousands of fictional worlds to choose from, we recommend the top three most popular selections for college students who are looking to escape the reality of midterms.

“The Walking Dead”

Interested in a world free of part time jobs, internships, 16 credits and looking for a parking space? Welcome to the apocalypse.

Feel the stress melt away as you hang with a crew of ragtag survivors, not unlike the students who brave the Pioneer Food Court at noon, and enjoy the feeling of no responsibilities beyond keeping your greasy hair away from baseball bats.

Don’t worry, you’ve already got plenty of experience evading walkers from your skill at dodging the pavement seal in front of the Oakland Center.

Is it concerning that flesh-eating zombies are idealized over 8 a.m. classes? Most definitely, but this isn’t a self-help article.

“The Office”

Looking for something a little more lighthearted? Look no further than this experience that drops you right in the middle of the cold open of your choosing from your friendly neighborhood paper company.

Blow off some steam with parkour or planking, ace your pranking game in time for April Fool’s, or learn emergency skills from fire drills to CPR.

You’ll feel right at home as you perfect your deadpan, for when that one kid always speaks up in class, right alongside Jim. You can even put your money, or lack-thereof, where your mouth is and get hit by Michael’s car like you’re always daring the drivers in P1 to do.*

*A lawsuit for tuition is not included in this experience.

“Stranger Things”

In need of some resolution in your life amid shifting relationships, grades and career paths?

While the Upside Down might be far too similar to finals week for comfort, take solace in the opportunity to hang out with your favorite middle schoolers – not an oxymoron – and resolve the plot of Netflix’s hit show.

Give Steve that hug he so desperately needs, tell Bob to freakin’ run instead of letting Joyce Medusa him into a death trap, or at the very least make sure that happens before he gives Will bad advice on par with “take those back-to-back classes on opposite ends of campus, you can make it in 13 minutes.”

After measuring the initial success rate, e-LIS may decide to expand the program to include educational movies for specific majors such as “The Purge” for criminal justice students, “The Lego Movie” for engineering and “What to Expect when you’re Expecting” for those in pre-nursing.

While this may sound a bit Bradbury-esk, multiple sources have confirmed that “Fahrenheit 451” was in no way the inspiration behind this technological endeavor.

“It’s not like there’s a multi-level scheme to get rid of all books,” a water damage cleanup specialist said when we caught up with him exiting Kresge Library at the beginning of the month. “…Wait what?”