10. Guns for Land Initiative: “Turn in your Glock, get a city block”

9. Sell the city to Mike Ilitch and rename it “Caesarland;” he already owns like 80 percent of Detroit, so what the hell

8. Take out a huge insurance policy on City Hall and wait for an arsonist to burn it down

7. Make a $1000 bet on the Lions to lose every game next season, then get them to throw the games (it will look totally plausible)

6. Rename it “New Hollywood” and convert the Big 3 into movie studios

5. Cut the leaking roof off of Cobo Hall and make it into a coliseum; have Detroit City council fight to the death

4. Let Michael Bay actually blow up our unused buildings for his next blockbuster film

3. Make a Pure Detroit campaign, have Tim Allen talk about our verdant casinos and liquor stores

2. Have Kid Rock actually make his “Made in Detroit” clothing line in Detroit

1. Build a RoboCop to take back the streets; Use Mitch Albom for a base