What I’m about to say may frighten you.

I don’t mean to be an alarmist. I’m just trying to help you brace for the harsh realities of our future.

Trust me, I’m doing us all a favor — 2011 is already scaring me and I fear it will only get worse.

I bet America would have rather known in advance that the Japanese were coming in 1941. Or that Blu-Ray discs would ultimately defeat HD-DVD players in that memorable technological battle of last decade.

Therefore, I find that I have little choice but to outline my deepest fears for the coming year in hopes that together we can find ways to evade them.

For instance, the economists have aligned and are already predicting the continued inflation of gas prices. Four dollars per gallon … five dollars per gallon … One particularly overzealous oil baron even predicted that fuel will soon replace cash as the recognized currency of the nation.

Scarier still is the fact that we’re another year closer to 2012 and The End of the World as predicted by the ancient Mayans.

What if they were wrong? What if 2011 will instead play host to the apocalyptic prophecy set forth thousands of years ago?

The first practical calculator wasn’t even invented until the 19th century. Those mayhem-predicting Mayans were probably forced to compute all of those doomsday digits by simply using their digits, namely fingers and toes. For all we know they forgot to carry a seven or they got lazy and rounded up when they should have rounded down.

I fear a Mayan miscalculation. One that will spell an early demise of Western Civilization.

And speaking of history, you know what they say: Those who forget about history are doomed to repeat it.

So I turned back the clock (err, calendar?) to 1911 to identify some parallels to draw 100 years later.

Lo and behold, staring me in the face was that year’s biggest conflict: The Mexican Revolution. And then it dawned on me … Isn’t it about time Canada had one of those?

But what hostility could divide a peaceful nation such as Canada? Surely there is enough maple syrup to go around. No, the answer lies in the origins of Canada’s favorite son — Sidney Crosby: Where was he really born?

Warring provinces, a missing birth certificate and a lack of credible witnesses can make for a hell of a dispute. It could get really heated.

This is just one example of the latent potential of Canada. In 2011, Fear the Canucks.

Also consider this: Numerologists and wishmakers will be all in a tizzy when Nov. 11 rolls around. The calendar will read 11/11/11 and at 11:11 a.m., the space-time continuum will collapse and chaos will ensue.

By now, many of you may think me to be a crazy person, but I have never more sane. My visions have never been more lucid.

I’m just calling it like I see it.

The closing days of 2010 presented us with even more reasons to fear what is to come.

On the television, crazed politico and bow-tie aficionado Tucker Carlson called for the execution of Michael Vick. I fear next for the lives of tax evaders and the people that take a penny but never leave one. Mr. Carlson clearly won’t find sympathy for those folks either.

Pennsylvania’s governor recently declared the United States a nation of wusses when the NFL decided to postpone a trivial football game. He even went so far as to suggest that the Chinese would never have let a little snow prevent them from basking in their love of American football and calculus. (Look it up, for I cannot make this stuff up).

I fear our great nation will become that cowering kid in the corner.

I fear a Michael Jackson comeback tour.

I fear Brett Favre’s desperately sad attempts to remain in the spotlight as a card-carrying member of the AARP.

I fear WikiLeaks will reveal the identity of The Grizz.

And above all else, I fear that my fears will get the best of me.

Cheers to a new year of fears.