I have sworn to do very uncomfortable things to myself — a solemn vow witnessed by many — if Rick Santorum is nominated as the Republican candidate for president of the U.S.

But there is another very selfish reason for which a candidate Santorum, and possibly President Santorum would be devastating. The nation and world would be deprived of some of the most insane ramblings of nonsense and logical fallacy uttered in contemporary politics.

Take this gem: “…Fear the vest,” Santorum said, superstitiously attributing his rise in polls near the Iowa caucuses to his choice of sleeveless winter attire.

Or his support of sodomy laws:

“And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you  have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery”

And who can forget his Iowa caucus bombshell on government aid:

“I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money and provide for themselves and their families.”

How did his explain that statement?  His words became jumbled.  He actually said “blah people.”

He proposed an amendment to the 2001 No Child Left Behind legislation that would require the teaching of “intelligent design” as an alternative to the theory of evolutionary biology.

If he were president, learning of Iran’s nuclear fuel rod production, he said that he would “degrade those (nuclear) facilities through airstrikes, and make it very public that we are doing that.”

He also believes there should be no exceptions in the case of abortion legality.

“I believe that life begins at conception, and that that life should be guaranteed under the Constitution,” he said.

In the case of rape or incest:

“That would be taking a life and I think any doctor that performs an abortion should be criminally charged for doing so.”

If Rick Santorum is nominated or elected president, the world will not end, but I will have to eat my shoes and suffer the indignity of a man forced to also swallow his own footwear, depriving him of his gift to say the stupidest things I have ever heard.