He said, she said: Dear Wondering Woodrow

Dear He said, she said,

I have a problem. There’s this girl who is like, 18, and I feel like she’s infatuated with me. Now I am flattered, but there are a few things that need to be understood. First off, she doesn’t even know me, but acts like she’s known me forever. Second, I’m like, 24, and she’s 18. That’s a big difference in age. Third and most important, she has a boyfriend. Ain’t this some messed up shit?

Sincerely, Wondering Woodrow

Dear Wondering Woodrow,

He said: This does sound like a problem, and eerily similar to a situation I have been in myself. You came to the right place. The first thing is, do you have any interest in her? It doesn’t come across that you do, but in either case, the boyfriend of hers is the most important issue.

If you have any semblance of a conscience, put an end to her advances so she doesn’t throw you in the middle of some bizarre love triangle. If she’s hitting on you, chances are she will hit on someone else and her current relationship won’t last.

Now if you do like her and the boyfriend dilemma gets resolved and she still shows interest, the age issue is something you will have to work out. It can be troubling for some, while I know of other college relationships with age differences of five years or more. If you really like this woman, then I don’t think you should let age stand in the way of giving it a chance.

She said: Flattery is incredible. First off, she has picked to aim at you her complements of all the people she encounters. She finds you special enough to coo over you.

But the true question is does she like you? She sounds bold, so let’s look.

If a young lady likes you, she will…

• Touch your arm or leg

• Hug without asking

• Sit or stand close while conversing with you

• Try to impress you by dressing up

If this matches her actions, she definitely has a crush on you.

To fix that, just clear the air. Be as gentle as possible and say you don’t have romantic feelings for her. The age difference and boyfriend are obviously turn-offs. But, if she is your age and without a boyfriend, would you be interested? As some say, age is just a number. And her relationship might be slowly spiraling down to crash.

If not, well, she wants to be friends. Friendships can happen between guys and gals sans sexual tension. She is trying to create a close friendship by acting “like she’s known (you) forever.” Close friendships are created over years and by shared experiences, but her speed is too fast. It sounds creepy. So I suggest slowly detaching yourself from her until you feel you are ready to start a friendship.

My final thought: you need to give this issue attention before she becomes too clingy.

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