“We met on Hinge,” you say, holding your fiancé’s hand while introducing him to your grandmother.
It’s oddly unromantic.
In an age of digitalization, it makes sense that our romantic lives have switched online. Physical credit cards in our wallets have become Apple Pay. Ringing on your friend’s doorbell to let them know you’re here to pick them up has become a text saying “I’m here.” Naturally, meeting someone while waiting in line for coffee has turned into swiping through Tinder at midnight.
More and more couples are meeting through dating apps. In a 2009 survey, 22% of heterosexual couples reported meeting their partner online. By 2021, that number rose to above 50%. Traditional ways of meeting a partner, such as through family, friends or a social group, have been in decline as the popularity of dating apps rises.
Yet, through this digital change, a small part of me secretly hopes these dating apps magically disappear off the face of the Earth.
As the resident love and relationships guru for The Oakland Post, I set out to collect stories about how couples met before the age of the internet. I sent desperate messages in group chats, brought my recorder to brunch and searched for the cutest stories to defend my cynical, idealistic opinion.
Just a quick note in defense of online dating – I see the arguments. There’s no uncertainty if a person is romantically interested in you, since you both swiped right. Finding someone who aligns with your values, such as political affiliation or religion, is easier, especially with the option of filters. Online dating is fast and efficient.
These are all valid points, but then again, the meet-cute prevails. Let’s hear the stories.
How they met
Joey’s parents met at a magic show. His dad was the magician, charming audience members with his sleight-of-hand tricks and a deck of cards. Joey’s mom was in the audience, bringing her six-year-old son to the show.
“My dad is a magician, and he was doing a show at one of the public libraries,” Joey said. “My mom brought my oldest brother, who was six at the time, to the show. They ended up meeting, and they talked after the show. They ended up getting along really well, and so they exchanged numbers.”
After their first meeting, the magic continued. Joey’s mom started attending more of the shows, using her children as an excuse to visit, but really, she just wanted to see him again.
“My mom kept on going to more of the shows with my siblings using the cover, ‘Hey, I can bring my children to these shows so I can see him.’”
It worked. “And then they ended up dating. They’ve been married for 25 years,” Joey said with a grin.
“Did he ever bring her up onstage as an assistant or as an audience volunteer?” I asked.
“No, no, not at all. I think my mom would have killed him if he did that,” Joey laughed. “They have a really funny relationship.”
I guess you could say she fell under his magic spell.
Anastasia’s parents met at a birthday party for a mutual friend. Her mom made her entrance alongside a friend who was carrying the gigantic birthday cake around the corner of the house.
In a dramatic moment, the cake slipped out of her friend’s hands and fell flat on the ground. Everyone gasped.
But her dad wasn’t even looking at the cake. While everyone stared in shock at the disastrous moment, all he could think about was this woman who had just turned the corner, who would become his future wife. The frosting on the ground was the last thing on his mind.
Maya’s parents met at a party at Oakland University. Unlike most college party meet-cutes, theirs didn’t involve alcohol in red solo cups or beer pong. They were the only two sober people at the party, and they instantly bonded over the fact.
“They both were at a house party off Squirrel. Basically, my dad lived there, and my mom was just kind of there, and they both bonded because they were both sober,” Maya said. “They’ve been married for 20 years.”
Oakland University is a great educational institution, but you can also find your lifelong partner here. Go Grizzlies!
Sebastian’s parents met in line waiting for tickets for a Bruce Springsteen concert. His mom knew Sebastian’s uncle, who mentioned that his brother would be camping out to score tickets and that he would save her a spot in line.
She found him in line that morning, only to find out that tickets had already sold out. She felt bad and offered to take him out for coffee since he waited. They immediately hit it off. Although they never saw the Boss play, something else sparked.
As if you didn’t hate Ticket Master enough for the service fees, you can now hate them for one more reason. It took away your ability to meet someone cute in line who shares the same music tastes as you.
Ava’s parents met at an alternative dance club in Detroit. Her dad was the DJ, and her mom had just been dumped and was not in the mood to meet someone new.
“My dad DJed at an alternative dance club in the ‘80s,” Ava said. “It was super shady, by the way. They were wondering if their car was gonna get stolen when they came back outside.”
“My mom had just gotten broken up with, and she was like, ‘Oh, I’m so tired of annoying men.’”
Her mom was dancing off the heartbreak with friends when her dad spotted her from the DJ booth.
“My dad sees her, and he’s DJing, and he sends his friend. His friend comes over and is like, ‘Hey, my friend really wants to meet you.’ My mom was like, ‘No, leave me alone. I’m good,’” Ava said.
“But then my dad is really persistent, and the friend came back over and was like, ‘Hey, he really wants to meet you.’ And she’s like, ‘Leave me alone. I’m busy. I’m dancing, leave me alone.’”
So he sent his friend a third time, and she finally caved.
“He worked as a technician for AT&T, and he had a pager. He gave her his pager number,” Ava said. “She was like, ‘Is this guy a drug dealer, like, who has a pager?’”
Ava’s mom eventually learned two things. First, he wasn’t a drug dealer – just really into telecommunications. Second, she actually liked him a lot.
“Eventually, they ended up getting together, and now it’s 25 years later,” Ava said.
Bobby’s parents met in a semi-awkward way. Their friends had set up a large dinner party with a mission: introduce the two of them and hope that sparks would fly.
Bobby’s dad completely missed the memo. He showed up with a date, unbeknownst that he was secretly being set up. He brought another girl to the dinner where he was supposed to meet his future wife.
They met anyway, despite the third wheel. Eventually, the setup still worked. They got married and have been happily together ever since. When Bobby’s mom told me the story, she beamed with laughter at the absurdity of her aloof future husband bringing a date to their first meeting.
Aidan’s parents met at a party in Detroit in the 90s. His dad described it as “love at first sight.” His mom, on the other hand, wasn’t sold.
But that didn’t stop his dad. He chased her for the next two years, begging her for a first date. After a relentless and persistent try, his efforts finally paid off, and she gave in.
“I guess you could say my father had his eyes on the prize,” Aidan said.
After hearing all of these stories, from a cake catastrophe to a magic show, I’m reminded that love can begin in the least expected places. Yes, dating apps offer convenience, but they can’t replicate these coincidences sprinkled with persistence, fate and a little bit of magic.
