I find it so hard to make friends on campus at OU, especially as a commuter. What should I do?

OU is a commuter school. In 2023, 84% of students lived off campus. There’s no doubt that OU has a weaker social presence than other schools where a majority of students live on campus. 

This is a common complaint I hear when talking to students about their experiences at OU. They wish there was more of a social life, and it was easier to make friends.

Yes, the current structure of OU makes it difficult for commuter students to make friends, but there are ways around this.

I know everyone hears this, but going to events and joining clubs is a good start. Joining a club isn’t a four-year commitment. You can drop in and go to events as you choose. If you don’t like a club, simply try a new one. 

I’ve made friends on campus by simply introducing myself to the person next to me in class, playing pickleball at the recreation center, complimenting a girl on her outfit and joining some student organizations. Be friendly and open to new experiences.

You also shouldn’t expect friends to magically come your way. You have to put in some work. Be friendly in class and talk to people around you. Making friends in college requires some elbow grease — ask people to hang out and be the person who makes plans.

What’s the best way to cry on campus without looking like a total mess?

Crying on campus can be embarrassing, but it’s important to remember that university is challenging and forces you to manage your time and grow as a person. Whether it’s getting a horrible grade on an exam or feeling overwhelmed, sometimes university gets too challenging, and a cry is much needed. 

Feel everything you need to feel. It’s not good to bottle these emotions up and shove them down. Give yourself time to process what you’re feeling.

In terms of locations, find a semi-private place. If you can’t go in your car or dorm room, find a spot on campus that gives you enough privacy from others. The open area in the Oakland Center or the entrance of the library is not an ideal location. The private rooms in the library, although not soundproof, do give you some space alone. 

If you’re worried about others perceiving you as a mess, wear sunglasses to hide your puffy eyes. If it’s any consolation, not a lot of people on campus care what you look like — they’re just here to go to class and get work done.

Once your crying is over, take this time to make a plan. You must move forward and go on with your life. Although you failed your first exam, you should make a plan to succeed in your class. Take time to look at the syllabus and see how you can improve your grade. Meet with the professor to discuss your performance and ask for tips on studying.

Try and see failure as an opportunity to succeed. Make a plan, so you hopefully don’t cry about the same situation.