Hello, my name’s Chris, and I have a Netflix problem. Ever since the subscription started before Christmas, I’ve been hooked.

Kind of like how Jesse Pinkman was hooked on that one girl whose death resulted in a chaotic chain reaction that was foreshadowed early on in season two of Breaking Ba–

See! I did it right there!

Don’t pretend like you haven’t seen the addiction in yourself or others. You know it to be true. The way that Netflix can instantly stream a huge collection of movies right to any laptop, TV or gaming console is a wondrous thing.

Or, it could be the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind since the creation of the Facebook app. There, I said it.  When the Facebook app came along, I almost lost all of my ability to sustain any kind of human interaction.

Then, out of the blue, Netflix showed up and whisked me away to the worlds of “Heisenberg” and “The Bro Code.”

I’ve never been the same since.

Sometimes I like to tell myself that I’m getting better. I usually say something like, “See, Chris? You only watched four episodes this time.”

After my spirit is lifted at three in the morning, the hopes of achieving a kindergartner’s social skills seem to be in reach.

That changes when I wake up, and I need to watch something without it stopping to buffer.

I don’t know about any of the other Netflix-ers out there, but I’m pretty sure that I’m being haunted by the buffering symbol. To be specific, my dreams have stopped mid-sentence in order to load the rest, and even worse than that, sometimes they’ve gone from HD to Standard-Def in an instant.

Both my dreams and my Netflix can’t stop to buffer — They just can’t.

I cringe when I think about that happening.

So I admit that I have a problem. I hear that it’s the first step to full-blown recovery.

In the near future I hope to be rid of this addiction; maybe I’ll revert back to DVD’s or something.  If I do that, I can probably go the gym a little bit more and make a few new friends while I’m there.

Yeah, I think I can do this. Luckily Netflix doesn’t have an app.

They have an app? Do I live in a cave? Can I continue watching the shows and movies that I haven’t finished on my phone?

Someone stop me by destroying my laptop immediately. Don’t touch my phone though, not now, not while it’s downloading an app.

That would be rude.