Valentine’s Day is seen as a romantic and joyous time for many, but for those who are broken up or single, the day can be seen as dreaded and miserable. According to Dr. David Schwartz, director of Oakland University Counseling Center (OUCC), Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be lonely, even for those who are single.

For those fresh off the heels of a breakup, the pain can feel immeasurable, and more importantly, it feels never-ending. Schwartz explains that the most important thing to know is the pain of a breakup does eventually pass.

“It’s really easy, in the moment, to feel like this is going to feel this way forever, and it’s not that the grief goes away, or even that the grief gets smaller over time,” Schwartz said. “Our grief is there, but we grow around it, we work through it, and we learn to live with it. It’s so easy to forget this is temporary, but it will change over time, and it does get better over time.”

With Valentine’s Day being seen as a time for couples to do romantic things, it is easy to feel lonely. To help alleviate the pain, one idea Schwartz suggests is to surround yourself with the other people you love in your life, including your friends.

“What’s really healthy is retaking the day for yourself, because this doesn’t have to be only about romantic love,” Schwartz said. “Why can’t a single person celebrate Valentine’s Day? Why can’t you go out with your best friend who you love? It might be a different type of love, but still love.”

Schwartz gives another suggestion on how to make the most out of a love-filled day — through healthy self-care practices.

“You can make it a day of self-care,” Schwartz said. “If all of your friends are dating and they’re all going to be doing stuff, I would recommend making the day all about you. I might make it a self-care day where I’m going to get a massage or I’m going to watch my favorite movie. Try and make it a special day for yourself and take it back.”

Going through heartbreak can be a difficult journey, with many winding roads that may leave one feeling as if they are starting back at square one. For those looking for extra guidance and help finding the right path, the OUCC can be a great place to start.

“Just having a sounding board that’s not your family, not your friends, especially when you know it’s confidential, that alone can be really helpful in recovering from grief and loss from breakups,” Schwartz said. “Come talk to us because we have lots of other strategies that, depending on the person, we can tailor fit to help them figure out how to move through this in a healthy way as quickly as possible.”

For those interested in scheduling an appointment with the OUCC, please visit their webpage at oakland.edu/oucc.