Horror icons I think would be fit as politicians

Horror icons I think would be fit as politicians

Halloween is just around the corner, and everything is getting more and more spooky: the weather, the movies, the costumes, the thought of Tudor Dixon becoming our governor — just downright terrifying! For someone with a bachelor’s in psychology, she sure has some pretty crazy takes.

Besides Dixon’s political views being scary, she has done some pretty frightening stuff in the past — including starring in low-budget horror movies and shows. I’m not joking, she has her own IMDb page.

Please do yourself a favor and look up “Buddy BeBop vs. the Living Dead” and “Transitions: The Series,” as they need to be cherished by everyone. Sadly, the latter can’t be found to watch (or, at least, I can’t find it anywhere), but “Buddy BeBop” is available on Amazon Prime Video.

Anyways, learning of this made me consider what it would be like if different horror icons were to take a stab at (get it?) becoming a government official and where they would lie on the political spectrum. It can’t be much worse than if Dixon became our governor.

Freddy Krueger – Conservative

First up to bat, the nightmare hunter himself — Freddy Krueger. First debuting in 1984 in “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” he has been terrorizing children to this day and has become a staple of pop culture around Halloween.

Now, why is he a conservative? Think about it — he has to be anti-abortion so the children can be born for him to haunt their dreams. It just makes too much sense.

If that’s not enough for you, consider one of his main colors is red, and possibly the worst thing about him: he’s from Ohio

Krueger would most likely be a successful (or, well, at least voted-in) governor in the southern states, but I don’t think he would go to the national level, as essentially everyone in Congress is older than his entire film franchise.

Ghostface – Socialist

The beauty of Ghostface is the killer can be literally anyone — there isn’t just one Ghostface, and everyone has an equal opportunity to be the villain. Equal opportunities for anyone? Sounds pretty socialist to me.

We also know Ghostface supports marijuana, as evident in his portrayal in “Scary Movie” (listen, I know that isn’t technically Ghostface, but it’s close enough and it helps prove my point). With the original “Scream” coming out in 1996, it isn’t that old of a franchise, and things like supporting weed definitely appeal more to younger generations.

I don’t have much more evidence to support my decision of this, but this just makes too much sense to me. Who knows? I could be wrong — Ghostface does wear a mask, much like pretty much all politicians.

Victor Frankenstein – Eco-Socialist

Taking things way back to the 1818 original and a later movie adaptation from 1957, Victor Frankenstein is a weird case of a self-made man (or a man that makes a man-thing?) who also believes in tranquility and creation science. His last words are literally “seek happiness in tranquility and avoid ambition.”

I think Mr. Frankenstein would be affiliated with the Green Party, but do a poor job at it. Eco-socialism involves parts of being anti-capitalism — “avoiding ambition” sounds like not wanting to force people to work for their entire life (a crazy concept, I know).

The Green Party affiliation comes from focusing on the future generation of the nation, which he is helping to create with his own hands. He seems like the type of person who would want what’s best for those around him, just with an interesting way of doing things.

Patrick Bateman – Radical Centrism

Listen, Bateman is pretty insane, there is no arguing that. But at the end of “American Psycho” (sorry, spoilers by the way, but if you haven’t seen it that’s on you), you’re left wondering whether or not he is this psycho killer.

I imagine that is how he would be with politics — you would never quite understand what his thoughts were. I feel he’d mainly be right leaning as a big business man, but there are times where he’d stick up for people — kind of. 

At the end of the day, you would have to stay on your toes with him to figure out what he was going to do next. We should have plenty of experience with that, as our last president sure kept us interested.