Mouthing off: beers and babes do not buds make


It’s the birthday that all college students look forward to, the day where you can bust through the doors of your local bar, flash your ID and say, “hit me!” Because you’re big, bad and 21.

This  Tuesday I will be turning 21 and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Finally, instead of going to eat queso and chips by myself in the corner booth at Chili’s, I’ll be able have my queso AND a daiquiri!

As I reveled in glorious visions of casually sipping cocktails in a little black dress in some swanky club, my dreams were cut short one night when my father gave me some insight into the world of liquor.

“You need to learn to appreciate cheap beer. You can’t afford expensive beer,” said the beer connoisseur and crusher of dreams.

He also added that my gift from him would be one can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. 

I scoffed at the idea. Me drinking cheap beer? I of course will have a beer, but it will be one of higher quality, that I can guarantee.

My dad’s opinion was nonetheless funny to me, so I decided to post his words of wisdom on Facebook.

A few hours later I opened up Facebook and was shocked to see an explosion of likes and comments the status had generated. A whopping 61 likes in total and comments of all sorts were coming in.

“Good advice David DeRees,” said photographer and MiRealSource Communications Specialist Taylor Maguire.

“So true. Loving your dad’s advice,” said Madonna University and Macomb Community College student Megan Blanke.

Some friends gave me more in depth advice about finding the best brew.

“Start off with the expensive and switch to cheap you won’t even tell the difference after drinking for a while,” said Macomb Community College student John Opiola.

And what about all those likes? Did these Facebook friends find my father’s advice simply amusing or incredibly insightful?

I went to my local liquor store to see how much beer actually cost.

Both Pabst Blue Ribbon and Milwaukee’s Best were priced at $8.59, Budweiser $12.59 and Heineken, Blue Moon, and Corona near $14.99.

Like any college student, I’ll have to keep a well-stocked fridge, and $15.00 for a twelve pack is a little pricy. Some late night beers will probably help with homework and writing stories on campus activities.

Wasn’t it Hemingway who said “write drunk, edit sober”? I will have won a Pulitzer by the time I’m done at The Post.

“Do your tequila now because you won’t be able to handle it after you’re 25,” my good friend Taylor Maguire said.

This didnt surprise me. Country music already taught me not to ask her on a straight tequila night. Seriously, don’t ask her.

If this has taught me anything it is that drinking is expensive, and in reality, there is no difference between a cheap buzz and an expensive buzz. Thanks, Dad.