A private Island party? During COVID? Bold.

Autumn Page, Marketing Director

“People are dying, Kim” is a sentence you’ve probably heard as your favorite celebrity continues to live her best Hollywood lifestyle. 

If you, dear reader, have been on the internet “for just a millisecond,” as George Washington from the legendary musical “Hamilton” said, then you know who I am referring to.

The reality show queen and fashion mobile herself, Kim Kardashian-West. 

Mrs. West continues to live her lavish and I’m-a-zillionare lifestyle through quarantine. If you Keep Up With the Kardashians, then you know she recently celebrated her 40 birthday.

“After two weeks of health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest-inner circle with a trip to a private island, where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time,” she said in a very heartfelt and humble tweet, so down to Earth. 

Imagine having the money to go to a private island — whew, could never be me. 

But fear not, the COVID-19 doesn’t affect your favorites like Jeff Bazos, Mark Zuccerburg or the Kardashion family. 

We will be getting the last season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. But I think we all have the million-dollar question — how do you surprise your “inner circle” with this?  

Did it go something like this: “Hey girlies, so I have a really big surprise, but you have to quarantine for two weeks 🙁 xoxo richer than you <3” 

It’s kinda hurtful that the birthday woman had to plan her own birthday getaway, if I had to plan my own birthday party I’d never speak to my “friends” again. 

Anyway, she continued on with her only-if-you’re-rich tweets, saying: “Before COVID, I don’t think any of us truly appreciated what a simple luxury it was to be able to travel and be together with family and friends in a safe environment.”

Kim, I say this with all the live, laugh and love in my heart, but I’m fucking broke. I think you’re the only one who feels this way, but love you the most.

She said her inner circle “danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach and so much more.” 

I have a bone to pick with this. I’m 19 and have the body aches of an 89-year-old woman. It’s bold of you to assume that everyone else can break their bones bike riding and dancing. 

With, you know, COVID-19 and all, the idea of being outside is quite a turn off, much like voting for Mr. Ronald J. Dump is, and it boggles my mind why they’d find exercising fun. Yeah that’s right, I said it, I hate cardio. 

“Forty and feeling so humbled and blessed. There is not a single day that I take for granted, especially during these times when we are all reminded of the things that truly matter.”

Truer words never spoken Kim. It’s not like if you or your family had so much as a sniffle or cough, you’d have first access to the not-so-readily-available COVID-19 testing and the best doctors in the world, but go awf. XOXO.