I love salt


Graphic by Ashley Averill

There is truly nothing better than salt on the ground during winter.

Winter is wonderful and I wish it was always here forever and ever. Spring’s showers and blooms may make for a beautiful summer and autumn’s red hues may warm my heart, but nothing extracts more passion from my soul than the powdery whiteness of a winter wonderland.

Snow is, by my humble opinion, the most wonderful form of water. From November to December the radio in my car is occupied by an endless onslaught of cherry and upbeat winter songs that sing snow’s praises from these humble Oakland University halls to the wintery wonderland of Vladivostok. That is Russia, by the way, and they seem to be the only people on this little blue dot we call home that understands the joys of winter as much as I do.

There was this French guy who visited Russia in the winter once. Napales or something was his name. Rumor has it that the wispy snowflakes and crisp chill made that lil’ Frenchie a bit too salty to stay.

Speaking of salt, ice! The other solid water, of course, it’s the only ice I can ethically get behind. But there is something so ethereal about seeing once liquid puddles and ponds become these massive sheets of fragile ground. Not to mention how smooth ice is. If you ever walked on some, you certainly know just how slippery it can be. And do not “at” me if you are an ice-hater, okay? It is not my fault that the only thing our dirty species has made that comes even slightly close in terms of slipperiness is the business end of a non-stick frying pan.

Ice — and its powdered cousin snow — are especially fun when driving. As a fan of motorsports and an avid watcher of Ken Block videos, I believe that anyone and everyone should be able to drift whenever and wherever. Every car is a drift car. All of them. That is why whenever I get into a spin I do not freak out and hit the breaks and try to avoid spinning further like some kind of rational thinker who does not want to damage their car. I floor that shizzle and power through it like I am in Sweden or something.

And speaking of ice, salt! While I do love me some of that slippery boi ice cheese, I concede that not everyone has the appreciation that I do for this gift of nature. But that is okay because I LOVE SALT! When driving around, they clear away the ice and make it so everything gets covered in a layer of dirt water that stains literally everything from pants to boots to tires to that watch you accidentally drop when trying to get a glove on you hand but miss because finals are coming up and omg I better not fail this lest I get kicked out of school and lose my scholarships and become another victim to fall on the altar of the student loan gods.

And if the salt is not there, I can just go drifting on the snow-covered side streets. It is okay. I am happy with that. I love the snow. The snow loves me. I wish that it will never, ever, ever go away. I need you, snow. Really. I do.