Satire: New Netflix original ‘Short King’

Michael Pearce, Editor-In-Chief

Last week, our talented content editor, Katie Valley, reviewed a Netflix movie called “Tall Girl.” At first I thought this was a new kind of wine beverage in a tall can, similar to a “Tall Boy” beer.

I was wrong. It is an incredibly cringeworthy movie concept that Netflix thinks is good. But, the better Netflix original has been overlooked. It is the opposite of “Tall Girl.” It is the vastly superior “Short King” movie starring the Bagel Boss.

Bagel Boss is a small man in a big world. He lives large, despite the numerous amount of women who reject him because of his size. He is tired of the women who deny him just based on his height, so he hops into his lifted truck and moves across the country to start over. Along the way, he finds the true meaning of the phrase “Short King” while enjoying all the bagels he can across the way.

It is truly a beautiful film, a sort of crossover between “Dumb and Dumber” and ‘The Notebook,” as Bagel Boss finds love within himself and within the confines of Dunkin’ Donuts across the United States. Traveling from Boston to Los Angeles in his 11-mile-per-gallon truck, he encounters many new friends along the way.

From Danny DeVito, Tom Cruise and Ken Jeong, the short kings across the states are represented in this movie, as Bagel Boss gets a gang together to take on the evil patriarchy that discriminates against men under six feet tall. Together, the gang goes around targeting tall women, from Leslie Jones to Jane Lynch, and every WNBA player. They find these women and lecture them for many hours, mansplaining and manspreading throughout the film about how just because they are short, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a chance at love.

Unlike “Tall Girl,” this performance by the lead actor is exquisite. Bagel Boss delivers an Oscar-worthy performance. It is raw, believable and downright moving. You can feel the pain in every line he delivers. He has lived the life of a Short King, and you can feel it through the screen. He is a man of depth, pain, love and everything in-between. As someone who is 5’9″ and on the border of Short King status, I felt like he was speaking for me. Bagel Boss has joined the elite ranks of Meryl Streep, Daniel Day-Lewis and Tom Hanks with this first film performance.

All in all, Short King is the movie Netflix needs to be promoting. I think it is being swept under the rug because of the controversial nature of the innately sexist Bagel Boss, but once we move past the putrid personality of the real-life person, the performance and overall quality of the film shines through as one of Netflix’s best projects.

For a streaming service that seems to churn out garbage quicker than ever thought possible, they hit a home run with this one. I give this movie five out of five everything bagels with cream cheese.

Rating: 5/5 Bagels