Love it or hate it, it’s Valentine’s Day.

Regardless if students already have a special someone to spend the holiday with, Oakland’s own Dr. Terri Orbuch, better known as “The Love Doctor,” uses her years of research and observations to help students understand what it means to find love and to keep it just in time for V-day.

Orbuch is a sociology professor at Oakland University, a researcher, a therapist and the ever-so-popular “ Love Doctor.” She’s the author of five books and the project director of the landmark study The early years of marriage study. Ongoing since 1986, it is currently the longest running study of couples ever conducted in the U.S. 

She’s helped open the eyes to couples and individuals all over the U.S and realizes that it’s not just Valentine’s Day that affection and desire should be expressed in order for a relationship to work. These things should happen consistently, she preaches.

“I’ve personally taken three classes with Dr. Orbuch and just by taking them I’ve learned more about myself,” said Amanda Condic, secretary for the OU sociology club.

Finding love:

After over 20 years of research, Orbuch finds that there are five different ways to successfully find love.

First, people must be ready and rid of any emotional baggage. Then, the key is to find someone with similarities. This doesn’t mean liking the same music or sports, but having key similarities such as life goals and values. This makes the relationship more likely to work.

Many may wonder where they are going to find someone with these key values and similarities. According to The Love Doctor’s research, she finds that by joining a group activity that meets regularly, participating in online dating sites and going on blind dates are the top three ways to meet someone and find love.

“I think these are ways to create a genuine connection with someone you wouldn’t necessarily expect,” said student Paula Terenzi.

Keeping love:

Once a person has found love, it’s obviously important and worthwhile to keep the love.

 “Just being in a relationship isn’t enough,” Orbuch said.

Affirm, affirm, affirm

First, a person must know that affective affirmation is one of the main things a partner needs in a relationship. This doesn’t have to be just saying “I love you” or complimenting one another, but it can be expressed through actions too. By showing appreciation and desire, Orbuch finds this is key when aspiring to have a successful relationship.

To make a relationship work people must also keep realistic expectations and manage conflict constructively.

“Frustration is the leading reason relationships are unhealthy and unhappy,” Orbuch said.

It’s not to say that by doing all of these things all relationships are going to be perfect, because, of course, every relationship has its flaw flaws. However, by working on the key aspects of love that Dr. Orbuch expresses, it is possible that couples and individuals themselves will be happier when it comes to love.

 Who knows – it may even make more people like the Hallmark holiday. 

“Valentine’s Day is a day to appreciate special people in your life who make you happy,” Orbuch said. “It’s just another day to remember that love in our life is important.”