Movies killed the movie star

If you’re a “Star Wars” fan like me, you should be severely titillated at the thought of a reboot in the series. At first, I was so excited I couldn’t keep food down. I’d been waiting ever since I was a kid for more. Even hearing the disappointing news that Disney was going didn’t detract from my glee. In my mind, I was back to being a child and actually happy again.

But, then I started thinking about all of the recent, and not so recent, film reboots that have been just plain awful, some being more painful to endure than watching Floyd Mayweather try to read (“Last House on the Left,” I’m looking at you).

The most recent announced remake that makes my blood curdle was the announcement of a “Ghostbusters” remake. The fresh twist, apparently, is that it will feature an all-female cast. I have no qualms with an all-female cast (and I love me some Kristen Wiig), but to me it seems like a desperate attempt to rake in a few bucks.

The all-female flick received a bevy of online criticism, so Sony “decided” to also concoct another reboot with a male cast. At this point, it seems almost blasphemous to make a version with either cast. The original movie had one of the most iconic casts of all time, so why not just leave well enough alone?

It seems like the 21st century is a period devoid of creativity, especially in films. The “Ghostbusters” reboot is just the tip of the iceberg; and it’s certainly nothing new.

One flick I remember watching many years ago was a remake of “My Bloody Valentine.” It was at the height of the 3D trend popularity, and we all remember how awesome that was. I typically hate horror movies, but the original was one of my all-time favorite horror movies. Well, the remake just consisted of awkward sex scenes and heads being chopped off. Oh, and of course that great 3D technology that made the pick-ax look like it was coming right at you!

I can take solace in the fact that when I saw “My Bloody Valentine” I was on a second date and I got some solid under shirt, over bra action after the movie. Still, I was not too happy about what I had just watched.

And that has been my experience with most remakes or reboots. It’s never as good. Great characters are polluted by terrible modern-day actors that belong nowhere near a movie set (the jackass from the newer “Footloose”), or plots and stories are ripped totally to hell. The “Evil Dead” series was absolutely fantastic, and the remake that came out a few years ago made me wonder what I had done in a previous life to be subjected to the abomination I was experiencing.

Of course, every now and then the movie industry buttholes get something right with a remake. The two newer “Star Trek” films were damn good, but that may just be due to the fact that anything Zachary Quinto does is God-like.

The sad part about it all is that it seems like as the years go by, there are less and less new stories being told. Sometimes it’s good to revisit great stories and great memories, sure, but there is a fine line between reimagining a story and just plain laziness.

Unfortunately, this is the trap that film industry seems to be falling in, and even though some reboots are hits, most are misses.