Growing up is hard to do

It’s a weird feeling, knowing that something is coming to an end. In this case, the thing that is ending is my life.

It’s not ending in the traditional sense — it’s not like I’m dying or getting married or something — but the chapter of my life that I have been writing for 23 years is concluding. The book has ended.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m graduating. School — which has hoarded over every second of my waking life for the past 17 years — is all that I know.

I don’t know how to do anything other than go to school. Not that I’m even good in school, but at least I am comfortable. I know what I’m doing. Everything is planned out; for someone who has no ambition, this is a perfect situation.

But, alas, I am being booted away, forced out by the very place I have called home for nearly a quarter of my life. I’m stuck with a mandatory venture out into the real world that, from what I can see from behind this lovely computer screen, is pretty damn terrible.

Still, I know my perception of the world is severely skewed at best. I’ve lived in Michigan my entire life. I’ve lived in this particular portion of the state for most of it. I am a person, generally, who avoids change at all costs. So far in life I have been content living in my bubble of cotton candy and self-pleasuring. But, now I am being sent out into the world with my tail between my legs and poop-colored stars in my eyes.

As I inch closer and closer to my final days (which actually is pretty much today), I’m finding myself more at peace with what the hell I’m going to do once I leave this place.  Luckily, I’ve already found a job, so I’ve won half the battle. But the other half — making money, getting laid and not starving to death — will be an uphill battle.

Since my personality always finds the negative side of every situation, I decided to peruse my thoughts and locate the positives from my time here. Contrary to what my writing skills convey, I actually have learned a lot here. The journalism department is absolutely one of the best-hidden gems on this campus. I’ve also seen a ton of yoga pants, which is always a plus.

There’s also been this place — The Post. I’ve done my fair share of complaining, but I’ve certainly enjoyed my time here. The only downside: After two years, I still haven’t won the respect of a single person at this workplace. Now I’m heading off to a new workplace where others’ respect of me will likely be on that same level.

I guess in the long run the good has outweighed the bad and I still have some things to look forward to.

Worst case scenario: If shit really does hit the fan, I’ll have my severe anxiety and alcoholism to keep my asshole self busy.