The Oakland Post

Police Files August 1

Ben Hume, Staff Reporter

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Misplaced Anger

Oakland University Police Department received a complaint about the victim’s car being keyed after an altercation about a stolen parking spot on March 21. Officers were able to find the suspect on security footage keying two cars—the victim’s, and a similar looking vehicle in the same row. The officer made the conclusion that the suspect mistook the car further down the row for the one that took her parking spot. The suspect then purchased food from a dining hall and swiped into her dorm. When the officer brought her in to interview her, she denied any involvement despite being visible on cameras and having her identity confirmed by both swipes of her OU ID.

Small-Time Thief

Border’s bookstore manager called OUPD to report a larceny on April 15. The suspect brought in a biology textbook, but was unable to return it because it was no longer being used. The suspect had planned to use the money for returning the book to buy notecards, and he was not about to let this stop his acquisition. The suspect stole exactly two packages of 3×5 notecards and walked out of the bookstore. The total cost of all stolen goods was a whopping $1.50.

Young Rip Van Winkle

On the night of Jan. 14, OUPD was called about a suspicious person attempting to enter Hamlin Hall. When the two dispatched officers arrived on the scene, the contact pointed them to the sleeping person on the bench outside the night watch station. When an officer approached the suspicious person, a strong odor of alcohol wafted off of him. After yelling at him and shaking his shoulder violently, the suspect finally came to. When asked how much he had to drink, his response was “five.” He was placed in the care of a sober guest for the night, hopefully sleeping as soundly as he was on his bench.

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