SATIRE: The pros and cons of how you spent your spring break

Time’s up, y’all. Did you have a good break? Or did you sign up for five classes and cry for nine days straight like I did?

The general consensus is that there’s only two things you can do during a college spring break: Get all your homework done so the next few weeks are as comfortable as possible, or drink every day until your liver swings a white-surrender flag through your throat.

I won’t tell you which one I did. I’m too hungover to explain the details, honestly. But in the spirit of fairness, I will say that both have their merits and both have their drawbacks. So I’m here to fully explain the best and worst aspects of both so you can know exactly where you stand coming either refreshed and prepared or completely hungover.