Some of you may have heard about the website fmylife.com, where people submit tales of their “day to day crap.” It seems to be the latest rage, complaining and reading the complaints of other people, usually among teenagers in the modern western world.

Recently, one person wrote: “Today, whilst working at subway (the sandwich store), i took a man’s order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to his hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, the guy pulled out his wallet, looked inside, then looked at me and walked quickly out of the store. FML”

The most popular one ever on the website is: “Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML”

Most people would be lucky to only have problems as trivial as the ones on the website. The first person has a job, the second person has parents who celebrate birthdays. Many people around the world don’t even have these opportunities.

There are so many people out there with actual problems, not high school drama or momentary embarrassment, but real problems that are either fatal or impossible to avoid.  Here are some hypothetical people (who probably exist in real life) and what they might have written on fmylife.com if they had access to it:

A monsoon destroyed my village, killed my family and destroyed the crops. I have no food, no relatives, and nowhere to go. F*** my life.

My father sold me into marriage to a 50-year old man. He rapes me every night, and keeps me locked in his house. I am 11 years old. F*** my life.

More than half the people I know have AIDS. So do I. I was born with it. The limited access to medicine that comes near our village gets stolen by soldiers with guns. F *** my

life.

My father is crippled and my mother is dead. I have to work in a workshop making shoes for 16 hours every day to take care of my sister and father. I am 9 years old. F *** my life.

My sister was stoned to death because she renounced her religion and lived in an apartment with her girlfriend. I am gay too and don’t believe in religion, but I must never act on these otherwise they would kill me too. F*** my life.

Soldiers with guns came to my village, killed my family and forced me and my brother to be child soldiers for them. I have to do anything they tell me, even kill people, or they will kill me and my brother.

F *** my life.