Time stood still this morning when the minute hand fell from one of the Elliott Clock Tower’s faces, causing mass panic across campus.

Authorities rushed to the scene of the $6.5-millon tower, which houses 49 carillon bells and the small man who rings them at 15-minute intervals.

Students found themselves late for class as the debilitation of the clock tower left them with no sense of time whatsoever. Their screams could be heard as far as Meadow Brook Hall.

“I could never read it anyway because it’s not digital,” said one student, who now plans to blame an entire semester of late assignments on the incident.

“Time is just an illusion anyway,” commented a third-year philosophy major.

Sources say the rubber bands that held together the piles of cash used to build the clock tower will be used to secure a new minute hand.

The replacement hand will be made of solid gold and paid for by another tuition increase.