I was working on an article in the Oakland Center when I looked up and saw a girl studying with her coffee and bagel downstairs, all alone. Nothing abnormal, but for some reason the visual brought me out of my hyper-focus and into a new sort of spiral. I glanced around to see more lone students doing their own thing; studying, eating, working, doom-scrolling, yet no one looks lonely despite being alone. Why is that?
Have you ever heard someone reference third spaces? Children have three main spaces that provide a much-needed balance: home, school and play. That play space may have been a playground or a friend’s house, but it was a third space that didn’t need to be anything other than somewhere to let loose. Third spaces are a place where anyone can be what they need to be in that moment.
Now, as an adult, third spaces are harder to come by. I’ve found mine tend to be open spaces like the OC or the library where I can work on whatever I’d like without feeling like there is someone staring at me, judging how lazy or scatterbrained I might be. I feel like I can actually get my work done.
Where do we go after college though? I’m sure it’d be easy to just swing back to our old campus haunts and keep using them, but I think the most important part of a third space is that feeling of belonging — looking around and seeing that girl with her study supplies and a snack out doing the same other as you.
Coffee shops seem to be a hotspot 3rd space —but at a cost. $5 a day for a coffee adds up fast. And what of folks who don’t like such frivolities? What of those who can’t afford to pay to visit that third space but still need it? (Hint, everyone needs it.)
Three places come to mind in the mental search for free third spaces: the park, the library and the mall. The common denominator within all three options is that people can choose how social they’d like to be.
The park is perhaps the most versatile option with the widest range of things to do. Those who wish to sit in solitude can read a book, people watch or enjoy the scenery while the louder folk can run around, hootin’ and hollarin’. Playing a ballgame as an adult is 100% socially acceptable and encouraged at local parks.
The best part, perhaps, is that there are parks everywhere. If you don’t like one, try the next! Auburn Hills alone has 10 outdoor parks of varying styles.
Nothing outscores the library for coziness. While sound must be kept to a minimum to be considered polite, libraries are a whimsical place to coexist with peers. Many local libraries host various free events to keep guests engaged throughout the seasons.
The Auburn Hills library, for example, is currently hosting a monster hunt where community members (that includes us, fellow college students!) can wander the town on a digital scavenger hunt to earn tickets toward several different raffles. Folks can hunt alone or with friends, the event creates a sense of community no matter the choice.
Finally, the mall is a versatile choice that can be enjoyed inside or outside depending on which one is chosen. The option to purchase a study beverage exists, but there’s no pressure to make the purchase. Mall food courts feature many tables that can be used for more than just eating. Then of course there’s a whole subculture built around mall-walking.
Third spaces are vital to coexisting with other humans and living a full, well-rounded life. There are many more options than the three mentioned above. It’s all about finding the right one for any individual. Also worth noting is the recent emergence of co-op offices to keep home and work spaces separate for remote-workers. The whole point of a third space is that there are the two predecessors for home and work-life.
