Dear He-Said-She-Said,

I am so confused. Last Friday night I had a one night stand with a guy I met at a Day of the Dead costume party. The sex was pretty great and lasted all night into the morning, but I am so confused by his behavior now. Typically I’d say, (or maybe not so typically — that is the question?), when people have sex with one another when they barely know each other, the morning puts a new, unfavorable light to the entire situation. And, generally the people part, getting names if one is so lucky, and experience the age old hungover Walk of Shame alone. However, in the morning he gave me breakfast, walked me back, and shared conversation. When we were about to leave one another, he asked for my number and I gave it because he seemed like a pretty good guy.

Upon giving the number, I accepted that our one night stand graduated to the booty call class. But, he is still not acting in the way I would expect a booty call to act. We text and talk all day long, no inappropriate innuendos are expressed, etc. And, tomorrow night we are having dinner together.

I don’t really know if I am just cynical or what, but I am just confused. Is he trying to make this into something more? Because I have no idea what is going on, I have no idea how to react to this.

Sincerely,

Sleepless in Chicago

Dear Sleepless in Chicago,

He said:

What do you want out of this new relationship? That’s the first thing you need to figure out. If you’re not looking for anything more than a ‘booty call’ as you put it, then start letting those innuendos fly and make him aware that sex is on your mind.

However, it’s hard to establish emotional walls while you’re still getting to know someone. If you think that this gentleman and yourself could make something work long term, go out on a couple of dates and take the relationship out of the bedroom, or broom closet, or back of the car, or wherever you end up romping.

Your confusion seems to be stemming from your uncertainty of what you want, and once you decide that, you need to communicate to your new play toy your desires. Do a little searching in yourself and get some sleep.

She said:

Dear Sleepless in Chicago,

I believe we have a gentleman—not the good kind.  No, this is not a Mr. Darcy character here to sweep you off your feet.  He wants to redeem himself after the sexcapade. He wants to appear like a good guy.  When he gave you his number, he is making sure he has you in his little black book for future booty calls. The sex was “pretty great” so he would completely want to reserve you, hence the dinner.  What are a couple bucks for food, if he is getting laid regularly?  The only silver lining is the texting.  If a guy likes you, he will keep in contact.  But, if the conservation is casual, it only creates a sense of comfort for you so he can swoop in without much opposition.