Imagine journeying through childhood knowing only the feeling of your parents’ backhand and the damaging lash of their tongue.

Imagine and think of Alice Carleton.

Carleton, who grew up in an abusive home and endured an abusive marriage later in life, thought she could do nothing right.

Taking a stand

This portion of her life was scarring, but allowed her to realize her reason for being alive. At 65, Carleton is a mom, a grandma and an advocate for victims of verbal abuse.

She is also a sophomore at Oakland University. When she started her undergraduate work last year, Carleton was the only freshman, out of 3,144, older than 55. She hopes to eventually apply for the master’s program.

“I have to do something. I don’t want to just take up oxygen,” Carleton said.

Carleton has put her words of advice into her soon-to-be published memoir, “Ghost Child to Triumph,” and a book of poems titled “Sanctuary of the Soul.”

Carleton, who has been an administrative assistant in the mathematics and statistics department for over 20 years, is campaigning to speak on campus. In December, she was awarded the Undergraduate Distinguished Achievement Award for her efforts.

Support for and from others

Kathie Lesich, a longtime colleague and friend, thinks Carleton’s experiences should be shared.

“Besides educating people about what abuse is and the many ways it can present itself, she would also educate the audience on the effects of abuse and the ways to effectively respond to it,” Lesich said. “Alice’s lecture would also provide hope; hope for victims that life doesn’t always have to be the way that it is; hope that abuse can be overcome; hope for a better way of life.”

Glenn Whitelaw, a former lecturer at OU and a current professor at the Wayne State School of Social Work, is also a supporter of Carleton’s message.

“I am so grateful that Alice has had the courage to speak out about her personal experiences. I am also impressed with how wonderfully she expresses thoughts and feelings in such a creative manner,” Whitelaw said. “Her voice has been an exceptional gift to all others who have had similar experiences,”

A painful past

Growing up in Maine, the Carleton family endured the struggles of an old tenant house, where heat was nonexistent and money was tight.

“It wasn’t normal, but it’s what you know,” Carleton said.

The only refuge found by Carleton was when she joined the Army in 1964. For three years, Carleton worked in an office on a base in San Francisco, California. It was here that she began meeting the friends and parental figures who she hails as being her angels.

She was a Sergeant in the Women’s Army Corps in 1966

“Joining the Army was the best and the first decision that I was ever allowed to make,” Carleton said.

After leaving the Army at age 20, Carleton entered into an abusive marriage that lasted 31 years. After concluding the marriage, Carleton was then able to focus her energies on helping other women who are living, or have lived, with abuse.

“Alice is a genuine and authentic person. What you see is what you get. She has a heart of gold and kind soul, which is a good combination in a friend. She exudes compassion and is always willing to help the downtrodden,” Lesich said.