Eye doctor exposure gets national exposure

By Brian Figurski

Believe it or not, this world is so much sicker than myself. This area itself is full of danger worse than I could perform.

If you don’t believe me, take a look at recent headlines: a Lake Orion optometrist was recently charged for allegedly exposing himself to a female patient in his office.

Freaks like this are all over, but it’s always shocking when it’s in your relative area.

Some of our Golden Grizzlies even know this guy as a doctor, which is even more disturbing. The victim could have been any one of you pretty ladies or hunky, chiseled men.

I talked to a friend, who was an actual patient for this guy, and hopefully isn’t anymore. It sounds like this was a breaking point for a man who would exert “overtly friendly” behavior and would try to find out a little too much about personal lives, including relationship status’ and history.

He could have just looked for a ring on it. That’s much less conspicuous than eyeballing her Facebook-only information.

It’s so sick that someone in a privileged and honored field would take advantage of patients like that. Real shame because he was good at his craft, too – she saw the whole transaction. Nice prescription, doc.

The female victim also recorded audio of the event from her iPhone. which initial reports say sound like a series of grunts, groaning and raw meat being slapped by a retinoscope.

Maybe this will inspire the Snellen eye chart to finally update their letters. Substitute the big ‘E‘ for a ‘D’.

Is this something we really have to watch out for in our lives? We’re already got eyes on our backs because of gun violence and terrorist outbursts, do we need to have eyes in the doctor’s office to deter sexual predators?

I understand all about attractive women coming into the place of employment, but come on, have some decency. Go home with her retinal x-rays to use your rod to examine her cones.

Now I’m going to feel guilty about any flirtatious conversation I initiate with anyone in the workplace. Thanks, man. I wonder what other acts this guy thinks the air-blowing tonometer can be used to perform.

Be wary of your surroundings. People like this could be lurking anywhere – the eye doctors, your college newspaper, etc. – and if anything is uncomfortable, make a note and, you know, better yet, just stop going there. Make some phone calls to the Hall of Shame and expose the creep. Well, not too exposed.

This is just a sick twisted little world sometimes. Mydriatics are the only substance that should enter someone’s eye at the optometrist. Otherwise, you’d best be leaving.