Last week, I walked into the bathroom to one of the strangest sights a guy can see—a grown man using the urinal with his pants around his ankles.

Most boys stop doing that around the age of five. It doesn’t take that much coordination to master the art of the zipper. If your pants are around your ankles, they’re touching the sticky floors of the bathroom, caked with god-knows-what and pee. You don’t want that. Just like how I don’t want to see your hairy butt.

My initial reaction to the pants-dropper was that it was completely out of the bathroom etiquette norm. It didn’t really shock me though, because over the last year, I’ve seen a lot of strange behavior go down in public restrooms. 

Being the editor of The Post, I practically live in the Oakland Center. This means I’m forced to use the public restroom more than I’d like.

I’m not particularly picky, and our custodial staff does a great job of keeping the restrooms clean, but man, people do some strange and nasty stuff in the bathrooms.

For example, some like to place pounds of toilet paper over the seat to protect their bottom from germs. This is understandable – a public bathroom is an infected setting. What isn’t reasonable is that Mr. Germaphobe left their toilet paper barrier on the seat instead of flushing it down.

I get it – you don’t want your butt to touch a toilet seat. But I don’t want to touch paper that has been on your butt. It’s very simple.

The most disgusting thing I’ve witnessed (twice) is when somebody came in, snorted ferociously and hawked a massive loogie into the toilet. Memories of the congealed blob striking that water still haunt me. If you’re that congested, get some Claritin or blow your nose! I know we’re amongst brute men, but dear lord, we don’t have to act like savages! I came close to throwing up.

Why do people talk on the phone while they’re in the stalls? The person they’re talking to will hear the echo of the bathroom cavern, the grunting of Mother Nature’s calling and the steady backsplash of water. 

If my friend called me and I could tell they were taking a dump, I’d have to say something or hang up. I could understand if somebody was hurt or you absolutely had to call your boss at a very specific time, but you’d be giving the term ‘business call’ a whole new meaning.

One time I came in and somebody was changing their clothes by the urinals. Why didn’t they do it in the stalls? Can I please use the bathroom without looking at somebody’s crack?

Historically, bathrooms have always been a private place. But this is a civilized world now – let’s try and clean up our act.