As the holiday season has passed and my bank account is suffering, I came across this BuzzFeed article where non-Americans share scams that Americans think are normal.

Let me tell you, after I read this article I had a quarter-life crisis in the fetal position. 

Once I came out of the fetal position, I decided to compile a list of reasons why the scams in this article are valid.

Cellphone plans:

Of course, companies make these plans expensive! How else would they be able to pay random influencers and celebrities, who go and party during a global pandemic, to promote their brand?

Unpaid internships:

The best part of any college or fresh out of college experience. Free labor in exchange for the thousands of dollars you gave your university! Can I get a “hell yeah?”

Charging $1 to add cheese:

We all know the stereotype for America, maybe it’s for the best. 

“College is for everyone” mentality:

When the nation is trillions of dollars in debt, why wouldn’t they want all the new generations to go to college and pay thousands of dollars to get a useless piece of paper? 

I will note, that this mentality is slowly fading as the generations continue BECAUSE OF this mentality, but that’s a whole other conversation. 

Medical costs:

Americans have a lot of medical issues, so why not capitalize on it! Free healthcare? Equal healthcare? Not having an extremist harassing women outside of Planned Parenthood? Never heard of any of that. 

Car dealerships:

Since all these immigrants are taking American jobs, why wouldn’t America keep these parking lots?!

Megachurches:

How else would churches build this extravagant building that gets used three times a week by the same group of christian girl Autumns? 

Just to clarify, no I’m not talking about me for once. Sad, I know.

Anyways, the churches need all the money to cover up the pastor getting into scandals.

Time off:

Assuming you have seen those wholesome videos of other teachers giving a teacher their paid time off while the teacher is in the hospital because of cancer and ran out of sick days. They would have enough, if they never got sick and were superhuman, do better xoxo. 

Tipping because of low wages:

The workers should be able to make $10 an hour, tipping is only for good service! Oh minimum wage workers go to college full-time and want to be on their own and gain independence? Aw, that’s a cute thought! 

Expensive cards:

Valentine’s day thrives in the holiday card industry! Why not let a multibillion dollar company make some extra change — because they need it.

Here are a few of my own scandals, not mentioned in the article.

Starbucks

I didn’t know capitalism could taste so good! No wonder every sad college student spends well over $50 a month on their iced caramel macchiato with 15 espresso shots upside down. 

Rent

Anyone would be just beyond blessed to pay $900 a month on a one bed + one bath apartment with neighbors who don’t understand the concept of sleeping. Ugh, the life. 

America is overpriced, and there are a plethora of scams that Americans, in some situations, have no choice but to accept. At least, we can make fun of them because of how absurd they actually are.