Former Syracuse quarterback Don McPherson spoke to Oakland University athletes about gender equality and the need to prevent violence against women. Here are seven key quotes from McPherson’s lecture, and what should be taken away from them.

“I am a feminist because I care about women and the issues that impact their lives.”

To too many people, the term feminist comes with a negative connotation. Feminists can often times be portrayed as a group of women who do nothing but complain. Don Mcphereson gave a very simple but incredibly realistic explanation as to what a feminist really is. If we think of feminists as people that care about women and issues that affect them, many more people may find themselves realizing their feminists too.

“Violence is infectious if you are around it too much.”

During his speech, McPhereson told a story of a Holocaust survivor. After surviving one of the most horrific events of mankind, she started a family and had a baby. One day that baby wouldn’t stop crying so she smacked it. She claims she had been infected. Infected by the violence she’d seen used so many times in her past, she succumbed to it as well. Violence is infectious if you are around it too much. Nowadays, violence is everywhere. Violence is entertainment. Violence is all over the news. We cannot allow ourselves to be infected by violence.

“We have feelings about it, but it’s too big, or too hard to address, or the conversation is too uncomfortable so we just let it go.”

Confrontation is hard. Confrontation is uncomfortable. But so often, confrontation is the solution. Every time you decide to just let something go, you miss an opportunity to prevent a problem in the making.

“Prevention is a conversation that is ongoing.”

Our society uses a variety of different tactics for prevention. We use scare tactics. For example, showing a wrecked car and saying that is what will happen if you drink and drive. We use slogans. For example, “just say no.” McPherson doesn’t believe these tactics work. He says these tactics come from our inability to have an honest conversation. Real prevention comes from an honest conversation that doesn’t end.

“You need to be prepared so that in the heat of the moment, you don’t think. You just react and you react in the right way.”

So many times the excuse for violence against women is “they were in the heat of the moment.” McPherson encourages everyone to practice good habits everyday, just like you do in sports. So when you’re in the heat of the moment and you can’t think everything through, you react in the right way.

“Why didn’t I make it my issue?”

McPherson said he has always cared about women’s issues. However, it wasn’t until he joined the Mentors in Violence Prevention that he felt he had the words to make the points he’d always wanted to make. He then reflected on his life and realized so many times he’d seen these issues take place. But he saw it as someone else’s problem and didn’t get involved. McPherson encourages us to make it our issue.

“If we call it women’s issues it gives men the opportunity to ignore it.”

McPherson compared this to another social issue: “If racism was considered a black person’s issue we wouldn’t be standing here in this room.” If white people hadn’t gotten involved in the fight against racism, there’s no way the movement sees positive results. The same can be said about gender issues. Women can’t fight the fight alone. These are not just women’s issues and since the majority of the time it’s men committing the assault, maybe it’s more appropriate to name this problem a “men’s issue.”

“You compare a guy to an animal or an inanimate object and it’s a compliment. But you compare him to a girl and those are fighting words.”

This quote got a laugh from the audience. If you call a man a beast, or your dog or a cool cat, it’s considered a compliment. If you tell him he throws like a girl he gets defensive. At a young age, men aren’t necessarily taught how to be a man, but they are always warned not to act like a girl. Which leads into the final quote from the presentation:

“We don’t raise boys to be men, we raise them not to be women.”

The consideration that a group of people is less than you causes you to forget their rights. When you forget their rights, you’re more likely to result to violence toward them.