The hotly anticipated film adaptation of E.L. James’ erotic bestseller is finally hitting theaters and although it could have been much worse, Fifty Shades of Grey feels uninspired and oddly bland.

Full disclosure: I have not read, nor have any interest in reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Not my cup of tea and it isn’t aimed to be, which is completely fine. The book has its audience and has done more than okay without my demographic being all that interested.

Going into the film, I found myself very confused. I did not know what to expect from this adaptation other than maybe a couple of kinky sex scenes and possibly an interesting love story.

Walking out of the theater, I still found myself confused. The biggest question on my mind: why is this thing a phenomenon? Instead of being a sexy, well-developed and different look at love and relationships, Fifty Shades of Grey turns out to be cold, incredibly thin and honestly kind of boring. Maybe grey would be the perfect adjective, but I don’t want to go there.

The plot revolves around Anastasia Steele (played by the best part of the movie, Dakota Johnson), who is a quiet English literature major getting ready to graduate college. When she meets the rich and mysterious Christian Grey (played by one of the worst parts of the movie, Jamie Dornan), they are both attracted to each other, but for different reasons. The more Ana gets to know the real Mr. Grey, the more she gets scared and confused.

I swear to you that’s most of the movie. For most of the 125 minute runtime, Fifty Shades of Grey runs around in circles and does not really do much. If it weren’t for the controversial sex scenes then I would not know what the appeal of the film would be.

For a film that relies heavily on character development and moments, everything is surface level. Most of the character decisions are frustrating and seem unwarranted, which is concerning since this is supposed to be somewhat of a romantic film. The chemistry between the two leads is fine, but on their own is when one can see the thinness of the characters.

As mentioned earlier, Johnson is arguably the highlight of the film. She actually brings emotional depth to Ana in a way that some actresses would have played as cheesy and shallow. The character itself might be under developed, but Johnson does the best with what she is given.

The same cannot be said of her co-star, however. I understand that Christian Grey is supposed to be a mysterious and guarded individual, but Dornan completely misses the mark with his performance. He comes off as incredibly cold and delivers each line as subtle as a hammer. He gives the film some comic relief; unfortunately it’s during dramatic scenes.

Then there’s the controversy surrounding Fifty Shades of Grey…

Yes there are plenty of sex scenes and nudity throughout. Yes it is very graphic. Yes it might make some people uncomfortable, but I will say that the film did a nice job of not turning itself into a hardcore pornographic film. The scenes are controlled and will give fans what they want without too much discomfort from those who are not into that kind of thing.

Overall, Fifty Shades of Grey is not just a bad movie because it is not aimed at my demographic; it’s just not a well-made movie period. The plot is flat, the characters are mostly one-dimensional, half of the lead actors are uninspiring and it just made me leave the theater feeling cold. That’s a problem for a franchise that’s supposed to leave you feeling hot and steamy.

GRADE: C