To the people with blinding headlights

Graphic by Ashley Averill

The use of car brights has become an epidemic that is causing alien blindness.

I hate you.

You know who you are. It’s the guy with the jacked up headlights on his shitty 2000 F-150.

I don’t understand the need to want to blind every driver passing you so you can see a little more ahead of you. The lights that come with the car work PERFECTLY FINE.

I see these bright ass headlights in the weirdest places, like in St. Clair Shores where there are literally street lights on every single road. But, sure, you definitely need to see 17 miles in front of you.

You might think, “Oh, but out in the country it gets really dark, and deer are crazy.”

To that, I agree. But, why is it necessary to have that much extra light in a well-lit suburb or just driving down the expressway? Are you trying to send a signal to aliens on Mars?

My eyes are tired from dealing with your stupidity. If I had one dollar for every time I got blinded over school, I’d be a millionaire.

You don’t need to add special LED lights to your car. It comes with brights for a reason.

Speaking of brights, the best is when you’re driving down that winding road by Meadow Brook Amphitheatre, and the person coming the opposite way just leaves their brights on. Thank you, sir. Now, I can’t see out of my left eyeball.

There’s also the drivers who know you’re in front of them, but still leave their brights on because they obviously can’t see your car right in front of them. Thanks, dude. Now, I can’t see shit out of my mirror.

I get that OU is in an area with fewer lights, but c’mon. The people who drive down Adams are at a totally new level of inconsiderate. Turn off your damn brights. You can see the road in front of you just fine. And if you can’t, then I think you might need to get your eyes checked out.

Just a couple days ago, I was driving on Avon and saw six deer on the side of the road. And, guess what? I didn’t even need my brights to see them because I’m not that damn lazy to turn my head to the side a little bit.

My second favorite thing behind people leaving their brights on is those cars that are now being made with extra blinding lights. I’m looking at those Jeep Wranglers and those boujee trucks.

Do you know how many times I’ve flashed a car with my brights because I thought they left theirs on and they just flash theirs back at me? It’s too many to keep track.

I just want to live in a simple world with simple lights. Is that too much to ask for? My eyeballs need a damn break.