In recent news, Michigan’s governor, Gretchen Whitmer, has made history by being the first to sign an executive order to ban flavored vaping products statewide.

Her motive for the ban is the protection of children, seemingly decided after Whitmer was informed by the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS) that youth vaping is a public health crisis. However, unflavored and tobacco-flavored vape products will still be in the market post-ban, due to possibly being less of a threat to children.

But don’t fret, my college-aged readers. The executive order has not been put into place yet. We still have time to vape our fruits instead of eating them.

Until Whitmer officially signs the order, you may still purchase the candy-flavored products at one of your many local vape stores. Even after she signs it, the order won’t be in full-effect for a few weeks. Don’t worry, there’s time for you fiends to stock up.

My question is not why our governor banned the products. I completely get why they’re dangerous. I’m wondering what the business-owners who sell/make the flavored vape juices are going to do with them after the fact.

Will store-owners be able to sell the products that they already have in stock until they run out, or will they have to trash everything? Will there be a vape black market? Will people be able to buy online from other states? These kids can get crafty when it comes to nicotine, so I’m sure this won’t be the last we hear about the issue.

From the research that’s presented itself recently, it seems like the flavoring isn’t the real issue. It’s what’s inside the juice that’s hurting people, and I’m not just talking about nicotine. According to New York State health officials, the dangerous component of e-cig is really vitamin E acetate. It’s being linked to numerous health conditions, and even some deaths, all nationwide.

This information scared me so badly that I quit my own habit. My only advice on how to not be affected by this seemingly growing problem in our generation is to either quit your habit or never pick it up. Or, you can ration your fruity vape juice until you cave and use a tobacco flavoring (ew).

So, start stockpiling your juice, now. The vaping apocalypse is just beginning, and it’s starting in our backyard. Escape to Colorado, where everything’s legal, or ration your vapor like canned food in a famine.

The option was clear to me, only because I fear death so greatly, but if you’re more ballsy than I am, you might want to consider if you really want to go out by the hands of a killer flash drive.