Nintendo is king. Always has been, always will. All the other video game systems that have been plunked down onto the public just pale in comparison. I recently got thinking about my childhood and all of the hours I spent wasting away on “Pokemon,” and it got me thinking about just how damn good Nintendo really is. 

I’m not much of a gamer anymore, but the thing that got me thinking was a YouTube video I watched featuring some dudes crafting Link’s Hylian Shield from “The Legend of Zelda” game. Now, before I get to far into this go watch this video first. If you are a nerd or just a fan of awesome shit, indulge.

Anyways, the video got me contemplating just how much drastically better Nintendo is than Xbox or Playstation. 

Nintendo characters are tops. Mario, Link, Charizard, — simply doesn’t get any better than that. One of my favorite memories I have as a child was spending countless hours playing “Super Mario Bros.” with my grandpa; collecting coins, sliding down pipes, chasing Princess Peach’s sexy girdle-wearing ass all over the place. Ahh, the simple pleasures in life. 

And when it comes down to it, that is the beauty of Nintendo — simplicity. All the old “Mario” games are literally just walking to the right, jumping a few times, level over. But for some reason, it is just the most fun a person could have at any time, ever. 

Nintendo games beat all others in terms of everything else, though, not just the characters.  The “Legend of Zelda” games have some of the best stories ever told.  I’ve gone through my “Call of Duty” phase just like everyone else, but if I wanted to hear little pre-pubescent boys swear at me and tell me I suck, then I’d just get married and have kids.

My biggest pet peeve is people accusing Nintendo as only being for kids. You pretty much have to be a nuclear physicist to win an online match in “Mario Kart 8,” so that statement has little merit in my book. And tell me how “Super Smash Bros.” is not barrels of fun for any age group? I can see myself being 90, playing matches in-between breaths from my oxygen tank. 

Nintendo led me to my first crush, too. ‘Super Metroid” was one of the first games I ever played, and Samus, the protagonist was my gal. Nintendo taught me how to love, even if what I loved was a two-bit fictitious shell. 

The only negative thing I can say about Nintendo is that they lack in the sports game department. No baseball games, no football games, no basketball games — at least no good ones. 

I can only assume that Nintendo is too cheap to pay for the third-party titles, but that’s not such a bad thing. Just keep giving me some new “Mario Kart” titles and i’ll just be fine.