I am a self-centered buffoon (that one’s for you Kaylee). This is not a new concept for me but as I near the climax of my college career — graduation — I’m finding that my attention is getting more and more focused on my own BS.

In recent weeks, there have been more horrendous events than we can count. ISIS keeps destroying priceless middle-eastern artifacts; a group of Oklahoma frat boys act like racist assholes even though it’s 2015; Sony announced yet another Ghostbusters reboot, this time with a female cast. Possibly worse than everything else combined — Suh left Detroit.

All of these horrible things going on and all my pea-sized brain can ponder is my worsening senioritis. Senioritis — inflammation of the senior.

Typically, I am not a compassionate man. I find it difficult to care about people or things that are don’t affect my life in any way. Still, I like to think that when shitty stuff happens across the globe, my heart will at least be able to shed a singular cardiovascular tear for people affected. Unfortunately, with the weather warming up, and the light at the end of the tunnel growing brighter, I can’t focus on anything but getting out of this goddamn place.

I guess after going through five(ish) years of hell, I deserve to be a little selfish. I’ve worked moderately hard to get where I am today. And since it’s likely that I won’t find a job and I will be broke and homeless, surviving on eating small bugs and leafs, I should celebrate now while I have at least a small ounce of happiness in my body.

This is probably going to be the last positive milestone in my life.  For the next 50 years of my life I will work, making virtually no money, until I am unable to get out of bed anymore, and yet I’m still excited to graduate. In my mind I know that soon I will be forced to begin paying back the small fortune I borrowed from the United States Government, and yet I am filled with glee.  

I know my happiness won’t last. I’ve seen too many college graduates fall flat on their faces merely weeks after they leave this place. So, I know I need to retain these good vibes before my life starts heading in that same direction.