The Oakland Post

SATIRE: Oakland student went to school on Monday

Patrick Sullivan, Web Editor

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Monday was a good bit of time off for students at Oakland due to the bad weather, except for one student who didn’t know school had been cancelled.

Bill Townshend, a second year mechanical engineering major here at OU, came to school for his Monday classes only to find out there was no one else on campus.

“It was really strange,” Townshend said the following day. “It’s like everyone called in sick or something. I got a good parking spot at least, so that was pretty cool.”

A commuter from Port Huron, Townshend drove four hours in order to get to school on Monday.

When he showed up to his first class at 8 a.m., the initial confusion began to give way to worry. As he sat in the classroom and no one else showed up, he started to call his other classmates.

“There wasn’t a single person that I called that picked up the phone,” Townshend said. “It was like they were all still asleep or something.”

In reality, most students were asleep, having received the news the school had indeed been cancelled the day before because of the incoming snowstorm.

“None of us have really had the heart to tell him that there wasn’t school yet,” said Marcus Finnegan, a third year student and one of Townshend’s close friends. “I think we might never tell him. It would destroy him if he knew.”

As the day continued and Townshend went from class to class, the weather got worse and worse. Snow fell at an increasing pace, but nothing was going to stop him from getting to his next class.

“I haven’t missed a class yet this semester, and I wasn’t planning to yesterday,” Townshend said. “Even if no one else shows up.”

While a majority of his classes were in the Engineering Center, he did have one class in HBB, forcing him to have to make the trek across campus.

“In the end, I only got a little bit of frostbite,” he said. “It wasn’t even that bad.”

Townshend went on through his day, which consisted of classes from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., as though it were a regular school day. His classmates, on the other hand, did the opposite.

“Yeah, I just kind of slept the whole day,” said Jane Scott, a student in one of his classes. “It was really nice, I think everyone needed the break.”

When questioning Townshend’s classmates and friends, every single one of them said they were not going to tell Bill about the cancelled school day.

“We all figured we would just spare him from knowing,” Scott said. “If I came to school and found out it was a snow day, I’d be ridiculously peeved about it.”

As of this publication date, Townshend still did not figure out there was a snow day on Monday.

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SATIRE: Oakland student went to school on Monday