My (least) favorite season: Election Season


Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

The day has come and gone, and everyone is pissed. Happy election season my friends. The one time of the year where Americans can come together and hate each other at the same time. A national holiday that no workplaces recognize, which restricts voter access, what could be better?

Yesterday, election day, we all gathered to elect who will flip flop the least on important issues that decide our future. From liars to cheats, we chose from a very impressive (rich) pool of candidates who earned (paid) their way up the ranks to serve us for very modest (well-paying) jobs!

As if this country wasn’t depressing enough, election season brings even more sadness and hatred to the world we’ve become so accustomed to. With these beautiful political ads, these gracious candidates have dug up all the important dirt on their opponents, who somehow have just as bad dirt on them! After that intense detective work, they share their findings with us on every commercial break. How sweet!

Election season is particularly easy for those who just don’t vote because they don’t care. These are the same people who have single-handedly brought down this country by letting the wrong people get elected, so that billionaires get taxed lesser and lesser every four years. Thank you to all of those who ignore basic human rights and help feed corporate America’s greed by not voting. You are an upstanding citizen, and I appreciate you.

What seems to make election season the greatest is the amount of politicians who will spin everything to fit their narrative and ignore tragedies and huge issues to focus on pleasing their campaign donors. They are up there with Mother Teresa and Ghandi in terms of services to humanity.

I’m sorry guys, I’m just especially cynical because there is a mass shooting every third day, and no one seems to give a damn anymore. It’s hard to exist in this world when politics run the way we live our lives, but only a small fraction of the population does anything to actually change it. No matter how many times you curse out President Donald Trump on Twitter, the only thing that will change anything is if you voted.

With that being said, I hope you all voted, and I hope you were educated enough to make the right choice for you. But, at the end of the day, the current system is broken, and if you get depressed because of the current state of America, just know you are not alone.