Has anyone noticed how much sex is in advertising? More specifically, sex in advertising geared toward the young? I know, I know: Our nation is sex obsessed. But there are a few stipulations to our sex obsession, and with kids it’s complicated.

The Candie’s Foundation has a new slogan. It’s paired with a T-shirt for young women. The shirt says, emblazoned across the woman’s breasts: “I’m sexy enough … to keep you waiting.”

Recently Kmart came out with a new commercial for the back-to-school season. It’s set in a classroom, composed of students who, I would guess, are around 12 or 13 years old. The teacher gives a vocabulary word to a boy. The word is “rock stare.” The class proceeds to give him examples of how one would use the word rock stare. Some of the phrases include “You put the rock in rock stare” and “I could rock stare at those jeans all day.” The camera pans over the students wearing Kmart clothes, including a close-up on the rear ends of multiple girls. It ends with a girl checking out a boy. He says to her, “Are you rock staring at me?” She smiles and looks down.

What’s the problem with Candie’s and Kmart? They’re selling sex to an age group that our nation (publicly, at least) expects to be abstaining from sex. What a mixed message!

Until recently, many schools taught abstinence-only sex education in schools. It was mandated under the Bush administration. Obama’s proposed 2010 budget has taken out the abstinence-only education funding, but until these changes are implemented, students are still going by the old rules.

By emphasizing the idea of abstinence but allowing sexual content in ads, TV and movies aimed at pre-teens and teenagers, adults and advertisers are sending a mixed message.

What kind of statement does the Candie’s T-shirt really make? “Yes, look at how sexy I am! I’m embracing my sexuality! But as soon as I actually do something with it, I’m going to be in trouble … ” Whoops.

If the message they want to send involves not caving in to peer pressure by engaging in sexual activity, there are plenty of other ways to say it: “I’m confident enough to wait,” “I’m strong enough to wait,” or most simply put: “I want to wait,” would work just fine.

I’m confused as to why a woman needs to be sexy to turn down sex. I’m also confused as to why a woman has to “keep” a man from doing anything — hence the dropping of the word in my alternative slogans. These shirts are produced for women, without any mention of men. I had no idea that it was a woman’s job and hers alone to be responsible about sex. It does take two, after all, to engage in consensual sex. Where do men come into the picture? None of the responsibility is shifted onto them. What a lesson for teenagers: Women are the only ones who have a decision to make when it comes to sex. It seems to clash with Candie’s plans for “educating and challenging America’s youth to make healthy decisions about sex,” as their website claims.

What is Kmart telling the audience? “Children just hitting puberty are getting in touch with their sexuality. And they like it!” But what comes after the vocabulary lesson? Their abstinence-only “sex education” class? Please. I wouldn’t blame kids for being so confused about what’s expected of them. On top of the obvious mixed message, Kmart is also exploiting these children in the worst way. I’ve watched enough episodes of “Law & Order SVU” to know that this is the kind of commercial that would satisfy a pedophile.

There are many things that can be done to help fix this situation, but the two most obvious things are this: 1) Advertisers need to tone down on the sex when it comes to products for adolescents. 2) We need to acknowledge that some adolescents engage in sexual behavior. Then we can give them the knowledge and the tools they need to behave safely and responsibly, and take true ownership of their actions.