How to miss your flight in a foreign country

Katerina Mihailidis, Staff Reporter

Worried that you might never have the most interesting story to tell your friends and family after having experienced the worst few days of your life? Like missing your flight in a foreign country (trust me, it’s happened). Well, here’s a list of only a few things you could do to live such an experience. Read carefully for the best results.

Vlog your seemingly important and significant voyage.

The first and probably most intelligent thing to do is attempt to create a funny documentary of your journey back to your home country from… anywhere really. Let’s just say you’re at a train station in France.

Book your two-and-a-half-hour train ride and flight on the same day.

This task might even precede item one on this list. You are organized, you can do both in the same day. You can find your train, get on and off at the right stops and then find your airplane. You have it planned so you arrive to the airport by train at least three hours before your flight is scheduled to take off. Three hours is plenty of time to find where your airplane is. Worry not.

Do not ask anyone when your instincts are indicating that something is going wrong.

When the quality of the announcements on the train is synonymous with garbage, and the train keeps stopping and the lights keep going out and when people look concerned all around you, you should definitely not ask them what is going on. Instead, continue recording for your funny vlog. It might make it onto YouTube one day.

Be super prideful and assume you know what is going on.

You understood the bits and pieces of your neighbor’s conversation even though it was in a language you didn’t know or are still learning. Yes, sure you did. He said that there would be a 40-minute delay. Did he say the train would have the 40-minute delay? Did he just tell his wife that he would be 40 minutes late for dinner? That doesn’t matter. Assume it’s the train that is going to have the delay. Trust him. Don’t ask him… just trust him.

Pick up the most interesting book in the world and start reading it.

You understood that your train will have a 40-minute delay so just sit back, relax and pick up the book you’ve been saving for the trip back. Now is your chance to read it. It’s super interesting. Make sure you get consumed by it and become oblivious of your surroundings.

Fall asleep on the train and end up missing your train stop for… Two hours.

Reading and vlogging got you tired? That’s okay. Just close your eyes for a second. Don’t fall asleep, because you know you’re not supposed to fall asleep on a train. That’s risky business. Just rest your eyes. When you wake up you will realize that any chance of you being on your arranged flight is impossible. But at least you will have taken a nap.

And that, my friends, is the most effective way to miss your flight.