Pokémon Go’s popularity exploded (and then declined) across the country, and Oakland University plans to cash in big.

Within the game, special areas called Pokéstops and gyms can be found at real-world locations such as churches, libraries and monuments. These locations allow players to battle for control of gyms or to restock on Pokéballs at Pokéstops. Elliott Tower, for example, is a gym in the game.

In order to gain more of these gaming locations, Oakland’s administration plans to build additional monuments all over campus. This will naturally require that tuition be increased by an additional 50 percent every semester in order to pay for the massive number of planned building projects.

“The raise in tuition in the short term will produce a large increase in tuition dollars in the long run,” said dean of the newly-established Pokémon Studies Department Phillip Katchoo, assuring students that paying more in tuition is to their benefit.

“Oakland will be the premiere destination for future Pokémon masters, both as tourists and as students,” he added.

Katchoo is known for making his first million by trading Pokémon cards before joining academia to study the Pokémon phenomenon from anthropological and biological angles. The Pokémon Studies Department plans to offer many courses, from remedial classes in cell phone use to advanced classes in locating hard-to-find Pokémon.

Many have questioned the quality of Katchoo’s papers and the validity of his conclusions. One such paper concluded, “playing Pokémon games can reverse aging,” citing the youthfulness of the majority of Pokémon players.

Many monuments are planned, such as statues of famous Grizzlies, statues of famous bears, actual bears in cages and giant photos of celebrities posing with The Grizz. In addition, gift shops full of Pokémon-themed snacks and memorabilia will be placed near the monuments to increase the profits.

Some students have accused the administration of wasting money, saying that Pokémon Go is a fad that is already over.

“I don’t understand why anybody is even playing this game,” said a student sitting alone at a large table, who wished to remain anonymous. “I don’t even get the whole cell phone fad. I am doing just fine without them.”

Katchoo insists on the game’s popularity.

“My top eight on MySpace constantly post about it,” he said.

Some students are as enthusiastic as Katchoo.

“I am changing my major to Pokémon studies,” said sophomore Amber Evelyn as she shook with excitement. “My parents say I am wasting my life, but I just got an Arcanine. Being a doctor is going out of style anyway.”

Katchoo announced to the Board of Trustees that he estimated Oakland will make “over $1 trillion” and followed the declaration with a maniacal laugh.

The future will tell if this will make Oakland the top university in the country or cause it to fall into bankruptcy.

“It’s a clear sign that the end is near,” said a local religious leader as he shook his cup on a street corner in Pontiac