The Oakland Post

College is a zoo

College is a zoo

April 3, 2016

Knights of the traffic circle: medieval romance on campus

Grace Turner

February 7, 2016

Filed under Satire

Hello, peasants. Lady Grace here.I’m going to be honest – I’d rather not be on campus.Why? Too many people. Too many cars. Too many fluorescent lights. It’s just too much.But you know what else we’re not missing? Rom...

Another year of parking purgatory

By Brianna Walter

September 13, 2015

Filed under Satire

Welcome back to Oakland University and another year of parking lot purgatory! I cruised onto campus at 9:30 a.m. this morning and P1 was already full. So was P3.You might recognize these as ‘the two parking lots that are actu...

The sizzling summer saga of Parker Timothy Simmons

By Parker Simmons

May 8, 2015

Filed under Satire

Hello Oakland Post reader, my name is Parker Timothy Simmons, your average elementary education student by day, and by night, the self-proclaimed man of JUSTICE! Also your favorite paper-man-gone-distribution-director.Since it’s summ...

Growing up is hard to do

Josh Soltman

April 14, 2015

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

It’s a weird feeling, knowing that something is coming to an end. In this case, the thing that is ending is my life.It’s not ending in the traditional sense — it’s not like I’m dying or getting married or something ...

Grizzly Climbers gain altitude to gain respect

By Sean Gardner

April 1, 2015

Filed under Satire

Three students were found climbing the outside of the Elliot Tower, according to multiple reports, April 1.In what looked like a scene from a movie, the students found themselves scaling the 151 foot tower — harness free.“Not e...

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